I am currently re-researching ADHD management (for gods know what time already) after wasting the entirety of the past two days.
Wherever I go, I only see people talking about medication. How good it is, how to approach it, what to expect from it, how it was impossible before meds, how to treat them, etc.
I cannot obtain meds. Stimulants are illegal in my country. Strattera isn't, but I am afraid that I will not be able to pursue diagnosis for reasons I am not going to share here. Please do not tell me how good meds are - there is nothing I can do to have them.
I tried organising my thoughts, having a schedule, and so on (org mode in emacs), but I have forgotten about it, every single time I tried it. I have set up a periodic notification to remind me of it, I quickly started ignoring that.
What can I do to make it better? How can I make sure that I will not just forget to do the things that make it better? How can I make sure that I will not outright ignore the things that help me?
For me, social pressure is like the catalyst or the glue for everything. I can have my meds, routines, anything, or everything else, but without the fear of letting people down, being annoying, or frustrating people by being late, overly chatty, or not finishing things on time, it wouldn’t matter. I need someone else to hold me accountable