https://www.reddit.com/r/CyberStuck/comments/1g5t5gf/cybertruck_getting_the_walnut_st_welcome/

https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/cybertruck/en_us/GUID-17ABBF87-8EB4-4FFC-8D79-B9FF53F7916D.html

Warning

NEVER TRANSPORT YOUR VEHICLE WITH THE TIRES IN A POSITION WHERE THEY CAN SPIN. DOING SO CAN LEAD TO SIGNIFICANT DAMAGE AND OVERHEATING. IN RARE CASES EXTREME OVERHEATING MAY CAUSE THE SURROUNDING COMPONENTS TO IGNITE.

Do not transport Cybertruck using any method that is not specified by Tesla. Adhere to the instructions provided here and observe all warnings and cautions. Damage caused by improper transporting of your vehicle is not covered by the warranty.

Note: Tesla is not liable or responsible for reimbursing services not dispatched through Tesla Roadside Assistance.

  • Chronicon [they/them]
    ·
    2 months ago

    Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Cybertruck.

    Caution: Cybertruck may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

    Cybertruck contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

    Do not use Cybertruck on concrete.

    Discontinue use of Cybertruck if any of the following occurs:

    • itching
    • vertigo
    • dizziness
    • tingling in extremities
    • loss of balance or coordination
    • slurred speech
    • temporary blindness
    • profuse sweating
    • heart palpitations

    If Cybertruck begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

    Cybertruck may stick to certain types of skin.

    When not in use, Cybertruck should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Cybertruck, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Tesla Motors, of any and all liability.

    Ingredients of Cybertruck include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

    Cybertruck has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

    Do not taunt Cybertruck.

    Cybertruck comes with a lifetime warranty.

    • miz [any, any]
      ·
      2 months ago

      all believable except the last line!

      • Chronicon [they/them]
        ·
        2 months ago

        it does sound like something they'd claim though, with about 15 asterisks

        • varmint [he/him]
          ·
          2 months ago

          *for the lifetime of the vehicle itself, which technically ends as soon as the CyberTruck is damaged

    • UlyssesT
      ·
      2 months ago

      deleted by creator