The tone-policing is entirely disingenuous. They say they want vegans to be less "rude" and "aggressive," but actually, they just want vegans to not have a spine.
You could unapologetically advocate for animal liberation and veganism in the most chill way imaginable, and they still would accuse you of being "forceful" and "pushy." This is just a thought-terminating cliché they abuse the shit out of because they think it compensates for the guilt that they have knowing that carnism is unethical.
If a vegan can calmly say, "You should stop supporting animal exploitation," and that still gets you riled up, that shit is definitely coming from within.
Yep, Citations Needed did an episode about this. It's a tactic old enough to have been used in defense of American plantation slavery.