Vaporeon is the candidate, right?

  • Robert_Kennedy_Jr [xe/xem, xey/xem]
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    edit-2
    6 days ago

    Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon electoralism, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle a diverse swath of the electorate, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, they can handle themselves in a debate. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that a electorally viable Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that they could easily slip away from any debate bros with folders of horse pictures on their external hard drives. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get crowds of voters to the polls. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you cover then in mayonnaise, you can make your Vaporeon turn white, which would calm the anxiety of bleach demons voting for someone darker than snow. Vaporeon is literally built for human politics. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can run campaigns all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.