Hey folks, long time poster/commenter. I haven't been a good leftist in a while. I had some pretty severe mental health problems I needed to focus on, and getting my career on track. I've forgotten a lot of theory, and fuck if it doesn't look bleak as hell out there. I can't see any way out except third world maoism, and that's a longshot. But past that life just felt more fun when I wasn't constantly thinking about politics. I think some of that was because my leftism was mostly online. I did what i could in person but had limited options. But to be honest what can I do other than mutual aid? Americans are too stupid to ever see past capitalism, there's no local governance I can affect, and anything else is just adventurism. Please pull me back, I know too much to even pretend to be liberal or conservative.
The answer is always to read theory and organize. But neither of these have to be massive endeavors you're doing all alone. Dip your toes in some local organizing. If there's only mutual aid, do mutual aid and start a reading group. Get practice in doing solidarity work for unions. Attend any local pro-Palestine events and talk to organizers about how you can help.
PS Americans are better-educated than most populations that have organized and participated in any socialist or national liberation revolution. Their frustrating psychology is that of imperialist propaganda and white settler colonialism. It is indeed a barrier but not insurmountable, and the more people we have doing any kind of organizing work, the greater we can tip the scales in our favor.