From what I gather it might be the best way for me going forward to have a new PC. I see them as low as $150 on amazon that come with windows so I'd have to nuke the SSD and install something like Mint on it instead.
Maybe we can get a fundraiser going for me so I can finally get a new laptop and put this 12 year old piece of junk to bed.
Pick up a slightly older workstation or flagship model. If it has dedicated graphics, that's the best you can get. It's a really good, repairable option that can last for a really long time. It's the "waste not, want not" option and probably the most utility per dollar you can go with a laptop.