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Bureaucrat to The Bureaucracy • 1 month ago

ooooh what does this button do?

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27
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55

ooooh what does this button do?

Bureaucrat to The Bureaucracy • 1 month ago
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27 Comments
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  • Aquilae [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    1 month ago

    Lol that's how this bit is inevitably going to end isn't it?

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    • Bureaucrat
      hexagon
      ·
      1 month ago

      One pupgirl account may be struck down, but a hundred more would take its place.

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      • Hermes [none/use name]
        ·
        1 month ago

        Let one hundred shared accounts bloom costanza-maoist

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        • Bureaucrat
          hexagon
          ·
          edit-2
          1 month ago

          comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo comrade-doggo

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    • Bureaucrat
      hexagon
      ·
      1 month ago

      Spoken by one who hasn't been subsumed into the loving embrace of the pupgirl hive mind.

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  • Bureaucrat
    hexagon
    ·
    1 month ago

    :walter-yell:

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  • Bureaucrat
    hexagon
    ·
    1 month ago

    doggirl-tears

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  • MaxOS [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago

    xi-button

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  • take_five_seconds [he/him, any]
    ·
    1 month ago

    lol do it

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    • Bureaucrat
      hexagon
      ·
      1 month ago

      I'll bite you doggirl-growl dog-screm

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      • take_five_seconds [he/him, any]
        ·
        1 month ago

        oh yeah? you're so fierce! throws a ball

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        • Bureaucrat
          hexagon
          ·
          1 month ago

          doggirl-sweat

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    • Bureaucrat
      hexagon
      ·
      1 month ago

      Don't listen to him he's talking crazy doggirl-growl

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      • take_five_seconds [he/him, any]
        ·
        1 month ago

        ah come on it'd be funny

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        • Bureaucrat
          hexagon
          ·
          1 month ago

          it'd only be funny if you pressed your button

          better be nobody pressing my buttons

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          • Bureaucrat
            hexagon
            ·
            1 month ago

            doggirl-thumbsup

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          • Bureaucrat
            hexagon
            ·
            1 month ago

            Only button worth pressing

            Show

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    • Bureaucrat
      hexagon
      ·
      1 month ago

      doggirl-growl

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  • FlakesBongler [they/them]
    ·
    1 month ago

    Dexter's Laboratory (1995)

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  • Carcharodonna [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    But I haven’t even been able to add you as a mod to /c/cute yet :(

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    • Bureaucrat
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      We are the most adorable hive mind on Hexbear. It would only be appropriate. doggirl-smart

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      • Carcharodonna [she/her]
        ·
        1 month ago

        So you gotta comment there so I can add

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        • Bureaucrat
          hexagon
          ·
          1 month ago

          doggirl-thumbsup

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  • mayo_cider [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago

    I clicked that and got an error message

    Sorry, you are not allowed to leave the purgatory

    I guess I have to keep posting

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  • Seasonal_Peace [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago

    bye

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  • ChaosMaterialist [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago
    Stop the posting. Listen to me, 🪫coppertop🪫. We don’t have time for twenty questions. Right now there’s only one rule, our way or the highway.

    Please, @Bureaucrat@hexbear.net. You have to trust :hexbear-specter:

    You have been down there, @Bureaucrat@hexbear.net. You know that :logout:. You know exactly where it :touch-grass: And I know that’s not where you want to be…

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    • Bureaucrat
      hexagon
      ·
      1 month ago

      We can touch grass while posting simultaneously.

      link

The Bureaucracy

bureaucracy

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You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !bureaucracy@hexbear.net
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Community locked: only moderators can create posts. You can still comment on posts.

bureaucrats only!* AND NO CATS

*the term “bureaucrat” will hereby be used to refer to a Bureaucratically Recognized Canine-Gender Variant Humanoid.

“Bureaucratically Recognized Canine-Gender Variant Humanoid” (BR-CGVH) is herein defined as any animate entity whose primary self-identification aligns with the “funny” category within a social, biological, or psychological matrix, and which possesses both (a) anthropomorphized characteristics that correspond with recognized Class-I “Canis” attributes as delineated by the International Bureau of Taxonomy and Anthropoid Simulation (IBTAS) Dog-Person Codex (DPC), and (b) explicit adherence to stylistic conventions originating within audiovisual content conforming to recognized “anime” aesthetic parameters, as defined by the Subcommittee on Aesthetic Standards and Genres, Cultural Bureau, Japan.

  • Key Provisions for Identification and Validation:
    1. Morphological Classification and Verification:
      • Subject entities must exhibit partial anthropomorphic canine traits that are visually apparent and satisfy the following criteria:
        • Aural Extremities (“Ears”) structured as per Appendix A, Class-I-IV of the IBTAS DPC, denoting size, color, position, and degree of affixation with precise degrees of pertness.
        • Caudal Appendage (“Tail”) standards, length minimum of 12.7% of total subject height, excluding extremity-specific attributes such as fluffiness, which are rated on the “PuppiFluff” Index (PFI).
    1. Aesthetic requirements:
      • Conformity to established “anime” style as per the Directorate of Animated Standards and Practices, entailing visual characteristics such as proportionally large ocular features (“Big Sparkly Eyes Clause,” BSCE), facial line simplifications, and exaggerated emotive responses. Note: subjects must embody at least three out of five established Anime Emotive Archetypes (AEAs), which include “Nervous Blush,” “Hyperexaggerated Crying,” “Comedic Anger Veins,” “Defensive Stammering,” and “Perpetual Optimistic Grin.”
    1. Behavioral Codification:
      • Behavioral patterns must demonstrate recognizably “dog-like” actions defined in IBTAS Schedule IX-XIV, including, but not limited to, simulated barking, an inclination towards physical affections (i.e., hugging, nuzzling), and periodic unbidden use of “dog sounds” such as “wan,” “arf,” or equivalent in alignment with Appendix E of the Culturally Recognized Onomatopoeia Guidelines.
    1. Legal Funnyness-Assignment and Temporal Affixation:
      • All bureaucrat entities must be registered within a certified anime jurisdiction and recognized as “funny” by local standards at time of initial post production to qualify under BR-CGVH classification. This is further reinforced by the Temporal Affixation Clause (TAC), dictating a continued “bureaucrat” status for the duration of posting unless explicitly revised via “cringe badpost transformation” within the originating work.
    1. Compliance with Cultural Resonation Doctrine:
      • Entities should evoke resonant familiarity across recognized demographics, notably evoking feelings of “moe” or “kawaii” in at least 70% of surveyed viewers, as determined by the Office of Media Affectability. Failure to meet or sustain such emotional resonation may result in revocation of BR-CGVH designation.
  • Exemptions:
    • Hybridized entities (e.g., “neko-inu girls”) must undergo multi-department review.
    • Entities from unlicensed media or parody genres remain de facto ineligible, though individual cases may be considered by the Special Commission on Cross-Genre Archetypes (SCCGA) on a discretionary basis.

Note: Entities not adhering fully to the above criteria may only be referred to as “funny dog-inspired entities” (FDE) and must not be acknowledged as BR-CGVH “bureaucrats” within official documentation.

This definition will be subject to biannual review by the Joint Committee on Anthropomorphic Phenomena (JCAP) to ensure adherence to evolving cultural norms and classifications.

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