Chewing sticks are thousands of years old and free.

Many trees have chewable sap that you can get for free, so it's very telling that a lot of these champagne socialists are chomping down on sugary treats made by companies with a known history of slave labor

me literally chewing caffeine gum as i read this

I am in this picture and I do not like it.

What about chewing pens until they are gross and disgusting and/or explode