Fulfill your touch requirements with zero effort!
Next time a loser on the internet tells you to touch grass you can blow their mind by replying "I literally am right now".
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Platinum level subscribers receive sod that is guaranteed insect-free!
Nothing that bites you should be smaller than two feet long. I feel like that's the minimum size for being able to really fight something. If something wants to bite you it should be fighting size.
I post clockwork orange style restrained with grass covered hand cuffs.
