I've read out there that the ratio between men and women on dating apps is pretty awfully skewed. The estimates I've read, from a variety of sources all claiming inside insight, put it somewhere at 10:3 men:women on the high end and about half as many women on the low end. Let me tell you, I sure do feel it. I've been using some combination of Tinder, Bumble, and Hinged on and off for more than half a decade now and I've had two dates total. The first one didn't have a second date because she sexually assaulted me, the other because she just didn't feel any chemistry. I can get maybe 5 matches in a month if I'm maxing out my free likes on two platforms every day. The chance they even respond to the first message is like 1/10. So on, so forth. I think I'm a decent catch. I take care of myself. I have a job, hobbies (even ones that aren't video games/TV!), open myself up to plenty of new experiences, try to listen to others, and was lucky to be born with some conventionally attractive features. Hasn't helped very much.
This all sucks, but this is nothing that anybody who has used a dating app could tell you. What really kills it all is A) the way this shitty feeling is monetized to sell $30/mo dating app subs that I will not buy on pain of death B) the white-knuckled grip half the women in the south (where I live) seem to have on outdated gender roles C) the lack of any alternatives
Elaborating on that last point, I live about an hour outside of the nearest city of any decent size. I'm in maximum old-white-people-exurb territory. There's basically nothing for me to meet people my own age, let alone women my age, without an hour's drive. All but three of my friends are guys, and they aren't really positioned to introduce me to anybody either. Out of my ~10 closest friends, only one of them has even been in a relationship in the past 5 or so years. I can't move because I'm at my parent's house right now and it feels super hard to justify moving out when you're making less than 50k/yr and have a stable family situation just because I'm sexually frustrated. It's been so long I feel like I wouldn't even know how to flirt or recognize flirting even if I landed in a miracle situation anyways.
What do yall think? Am I making too much out of it?
I appreciate the advice, but this is all stuff that I feel like I'm pretty good at. I put active work into my style and grooming and can talk to people just fine (My job is half receptionist.) I've got some "attractive" hobbies like woodworking and art on top of my more generic video games and anime. I make that long trip over to the city to go to concerts every other week or so. I'd even say I'm a pretty funny guy. I have some issues "turning it on" when it comes to flirting, but once I'm in the zone I'm just fine. Really, I feel like my issues mostly boil down to getting my foot in the door. That's what I'm trying to whine about. I have no issues with rejection, that's just part of the whole process and I don't take it personally. It just feels like there's a thousand times more men in the world than women, so I don't even get a fair shot.
Understandable. That's always tough. You mentioned competition, my specific advice in this case would be to find spaces that are more traditionally women-coded that likely aren't going to attract a lot of toxic males. I'm thinking stuff like knitting/sewing/crafting circles, paint parties, flower/garden stores, clothing stores, even getting a cute dog. The key is presenting yourself in a comfortable, non-threatening way while also being assertive that allows you to build trust free from anxiety. hope this helps.