Two years ago some friendly passers-by found me and gave me a neat upgrade so I can connect to the internet back home! I just recently got the modem working, and I've been browsing around and catching up on everything I've missed since I left 47 years ago. And I found this website of yours, and here you are talking about me!
https://hexbear.net/post/4029433
Hi Hexbear! I'm the Voyager 1 space craft. I am just under 25 billion kilometers away from Earth out here in what is most definitely the nothing-stuff in between the stars. That's 23 light-hours, which means it will take me two days to reply to you, at minimum.
Don't forget, when an alien race augments you into a giant ship and sends you back to earth to report your findings, have them clean up your name plate.
Right? Like, take some pride in your work!
Also wouldn't want your name to be misread.
For real, someone might think I'm Voyager 6, leading to a wacky Comedy of Errors style hijinx.