CW: chapter 2 contains a detailed description of child abuse by a parent

Hello comrades, it's time for our second discussion thread for The Will to Change, covering Chapters 2 (Understanding Patriarchy) and 3 (Being a Boy). Thanks to everyone who participated last week, I’m looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts again. And if you’re just joining the book club this week, welcome!

In Ch.2 hooks defines patriarchy, how it is enforced by parental figures and society at large, and the struggle of antipatriarchal parents to raise children outside of these rigid norms when the border culture is so immersed in them. Ch.3 delves deeper into the effects of patriarchy on young boys and girls and the systemic apparatuses that reinforce gender norms.

If you haven't read the book yet but would like to, its available free on the Internet Archive in text form, as well as an audiobook on Youtube with content warnings at the start of each chapter, courtesy of the Anarchist Audio Library, and as an audiobook on our very own TankieTube! (note: the YT version is missing the Preface but the Tankietube version has it)

As always let me know if you'd like to be added to the ping list!

Our next discussion will be on Chapters 4 (Stopping Male Violence) and 5 (Male Sexual Being), beginning on 12/11.

  • dumples@midwest.social
    ·
    13 days ago

    The only real positive reinforcement I got for a masculine attribute was my ‘stoicism’. I had my football coaches specifically tell me that my role in the team was to be the one that the other boys got to “mess with” as I could take it.

    This is both sad and completely predictable. Those who can't do the violence expected from them can be stoic and take the violence from others without acting out, especially in sport. I remember having an opponent spit in my face while walking past enough other during half time during a soccer game since I was guarding him. He remember thinking I had to just take it since there was nothing I could do and retaliating would just get me in trouble. Just hold it in and use it when appropriate during the game