I'll go first [CW racism]
"Did you know they just passed a law in Afghanistan that women aren't even talk to each other anymore?" - My Zionist cousin at Xmas dinner.
The rest of the family proceeded to spend half an hour ranting about how terrible Arabs are.
..so, how's your holiday been? 
I didn’t spend Christmas with family. Instead I got dolled up with a cute pink/blue/purple wig and pretty blue lipstick and drank cider and watched stuff on hextube and hung out in tracha and also spent time with my pup. It was great.