I'll go first [CW racism]
"Did you know they just passed a law in Afghanistan that women aren't even talk to each other anymore?" - My Zionist cousin at Xmas dinner.
The rest of the family proceeded to spend half an hour ranting about how terrible Arabs are.
..so, how's your holiday been? 
Spent 6 of the last 10 Christmases alone. 2 were with religious freaks. I got screamed at one in 2015.
Can't wait to move. Oh my God I can't wait to move.