my inlaw lives in the flat earth soros ruler of earth "da jooz" being the devil and almost every single conspiracy theory you can think of dimension and i will live in a garbage dump in a few years due to my money being thrown to the equivalent of dogs by my family because "stonks good" and "crypto go to moon !"
the world i live in somehow believes in chemtrails and the bug paste shit. i don't. and i feel lonely and my brain suffers severely from any conspiracy theory i hear because everyone but me believes in that slop
edit (i forgot something extra): i know liberals from my university and they're so obnoxious and i get pissed off just talking to them, smug little shits who shout "but joe biden good" or "he's a putinist! ruzzia put him in" or "i don't care about palestine i think bds is [ABLEIST TERM FOR "NOT GOOD" THAT STARTS WITH S]" and when i get home i hear "but donald trump is good" or fucking "SOROS SOROS SOROS SOROS SO-" or even "CHEMTRAILSSSSSSSSSS" and i can't catch a break i am sick and tired and i am tired and sick and all of them and all of that the news is just far right bullshit, my family is far right bullshit, other people i see irl are just smug liberals that want nothing but to see you squirm by their "facts" that they got off of fedipedia, none of those are good and the shit we want is foreshadowed by both of these people i know why but i never cram it in my melon sized head
how the fuck do i class consciousness when everyone is in anesthesia at this point? everywhere i go i only see these people that shout at me that "they are allowed to have opinions" and "nobody will believe you when you are angry" WHEN YOU FUCKING INSULT MY LINUX SETUP FOR NOT BEING AN APPLE PRODUCT SHUT THE FUCK UP BROTHER IN LAW YOU EAT QUICHE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃ.........
a. i really want to hit my head with a sledgehammer and have every lack of anything in there to just splatter all over the place, nothing makes sense, i am never believed in and people would just rather read wikipedia controlled by liberals and governments for the sake of demonizing communism and people that actually try to make the world a better place than actually listen to me. like dad literally showed me that wikipedia used the fake stalin quote of "it doesn't matter who votes, but who counts the votes haha i am evil and voting never works i killed 5 quintillion people more than the entire population of earth because i am so evil"
libs say they live in reality but i live in a personal hell made specifically to make me miserable and bitter and hopeless. and it worked ever since i was born. it's like the curse of cassandra, i am blessed with thought, with speech, but cursed to have all those be futile, as they are just suggestions for the brick wall to ignore because it's a brick wall. everyone i know is a brick wall.
i am sorry for this word salad, i just don't feel happy and i don't even know where to say any of this
I know when I started university I went from an area that's not majority white to a very white location, and the difference of perspective really fucked with me or the entire first year. The thing that has gotten me in a better headspace was joining a Palestine advocacy group after the beginning of this genocidal campaign. Being in a group trying to do any kind if advocacy while having non-insane opinions saved the dwindling levels of patience I had.
The only advice I can give, if at all applicable, is to find any kind of anti-imperialist/labor actvist group in your university and try to find even a small selection of sane voices, cuz they're likely going through a similar struggle. Of course that's if this is at all applicable to your circumstance but it's all I can offer unfortunately.
thank you for the advice... and sadly, it's not applicable.
the uni was literally sponsored by iicmer (goverment-backed anti-communist junk whatevers) so there are no leftist-like groups. there are genuinely no groups at all.
also leftism in romania is basically not here. all "communist parties" are just socdems from what i know. i should still be hopeful anyway, nothing sucks more than doomer thought
my inlaw lives in the flat earth soros ruler of earth "da jooz" being the devil and almost every single conspiracy theory you can think of dimension and i will live in a garbage dump in a few years due to my money being thrown to the equivalent of dogs by my family because "stonks good" and "crypto go to moon !"
the world i live in somehow believes in chemtrails and the bug paste shit. i don't. and i feel lonely and my brain suffers severely from any conspiracy theory i hear because everyone but me believes in that slop
edit (i forgot something extra): i know liberals from my university and they're so obnoxious and i get pissed off just talking to them, smug little shits who shout "but joe biden good" or "he's a putinist! ruzzia put him in" or "i don't care about palestine i think bds is [ABLEIST TERM FOR "NOT GOOD" THAT STARTS WITH S]" and when i get home i hear "but donald trump is good" or fucking "SOROS SOROS SOROS SOROS SO-" or even "CHEMTRAILSSSSSSSSSS" and i can't catch a break i am sick and tired and i am tired and sick and all of them and all of that the news is just far right bullshit, my family is far right bullshit, other people i see irl are just smug liberals that want nothing but to see you squirm by their "facts" that they got off of fedipedia, none of those are good and the shit we want is foreshadowed by both of these people i know why but i never cram it in my melon sized head
how the fuck do i class consciousness when everyone is in anesthesia at this point? everywhere i go i only see these people that shout at me that "they are allowed to have opinions" and "nobody will believe you when you are angry" WHEN YOU FUCKING INSULT MY LINUX SETUP FOR NOT BEING AN APPLE PRODUCT SHUT THE FUCK UP BROTHER IN LAW YOU EAT QUICHE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃ.........
a. i really want to hit my head with a sledgehammer and have every lack of anything in there to just splatter all over the place, nothing makes sense, i am never believed in and people would just rather read wikipedia controlled by liberals and governments for the sake of demonizing communism and people that actually try to make the world a better place than actually listen to me. like dad literally showed me that wikipedia used the fake stalin quote of "it doesn't matter who votes, but who counts the votes haha i am evil and voting never works i killed 5 quintillion people more than the entire population of earth because i am so evil"
libs say they live in reality but i live in a personal hell made specifically to make me miserable and bitter and hopeless. and it worked ever since i was born. it's like the curse of cassandra, i am blessed with thought, with speech, but cursed to have all those be futile, as they are just suggestions for the brick wall to ignore because it's a brick wall. everyone i know is a brick wall.
i am sorry for this word salad, i just don't feel happy and i don't even know where to say any of this
I know when I started university I went from an area that's not majority white to a very white location, and the difference of perspective really fucked with me or the entire first year. The thing that has gotten me in a better headspace was joining a Palestine advocacy group after the beginning of this genocidal campaign. Being in a group trying to do any kind if advocacy while having non-insane opinions saved the dwindling levels of patience I had.
The only advice I can give, if at all applicable, is to find any kind of anti-imperialist/labor actvist group in your university and try to find even a small selection of sane voices, cuz they're likely going through a similar struggle. Of course that's if this is at all applicable to your circumstance but it's all I can offer unfortunately.
thank you for the advice... and sadly, it's not applicable.
the uni was literally sponsored by iicmer (goverment-backed anti-communist junk whatevers) so there are no leftist-like groups. there are genuinely no groups at all.
also leftism in romania is basically not here. all "communist parties" are just socdems from what i know. i should still be hopeful anyway, nothing sucks more than doomer thought