Hello comrades, it's time for our FINAL discussion thread for The Will to Change, covering Chapters 10 (Reclaiming Male Integrity), 11 (Loving Men) and the book as a whole. Thanks to everyone who's participated over the last couple months, I’m looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts again. And if you haven't started the book yet but would like to, this thread will stay pinned for a while so you can share your thoughts as you read!
As we reflect on the book as a whole, there are a few questions I'm curious to hear everyone's answers for:
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What was your biggest takeaway from reading The Will to Change?
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How has the book's material and hooks' insights affected your everyday life?
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How can we apply hooks' lessons on healthy, non-patriarchal masculinity to improve the site culture of Hexbear?
If you haven't read the book yet but would like to, its available free on the Internet Archive in text form, as well as an audiobook on Youtube with content warnings at the start of each chapter, courtesy of the Anarchist Audio Library, and as an audiobook on our very own TankieTube! (note: the YT version is missing the Preface but the Tankietube version has it)
After this I would like to host another book club, probably here on /c/menby but it depends on what exactly we read. Please share any suggestions you have for books below!
An upward swing in tone for the last chapters.
Chapter 10, with its discussions on workaholism, the internal lies supporting patriarchal views of men and masculinity within us, and how we can't be "whole" without rejecting it, is very healing in a way. It's a diagnosis and a cure all in one. As a pan dude, the bit on queer men being especially targeted is something I can personally attest to. As a kid, I was always berated for "acting gay" (something I am sure others here can certainly attest to), and that continues to today. This always struck me as especially odd ever since I was a kid, because what was wrong with acting how I was? Was there something wrong with my "true self?" I would mask and hide, and this led to an utter lack of confidence growing up.
Chapter 11, understandably, was a nice bow on top. It's a celebration of "the good men" and a model to follow, to will to change into. Really, this was a great positive note to leave off on. The discussions of passionate love vs the drive for casual sex was interesting to me as well, and kind of reminds me of Kollontai's writings on"Winged Eros," as opposed to "Wingless Eros." A really warming chapter overall, after showing just how patriarchy constrains and constricts everyone, men and women alike, Chapter 11 shows us what we can live like and how we can act, and paints it in a beautiful way.
Overall, really enjoyed reading this, and can't wait for the next one! Hopefully I will get better at discussing by then, haha.
Thanks for leading this, @MiraculousMM@hexbear.net !