• Juice@midwest.social
    ·
    1 day ago

    Oh shit, you see I was reading the instructions upside down, and the "6" was actually a "9", so you see all our calculations were off by three or a factor of three, then I dropped my pen in the kitchenaid mixer that was making dough so the pizza crusts are dark blue and taste like a whiff of ozone, not to mention I left my cardkey that I need to get into the government building where I work at my friend Liza's house when she had an Amway party, and Liza has these little yippy dogs, and they're so cute but they're always chewing stuff, and wouldn't you know it they got ahold of my cardkey and chewed it all up, so now I have to wait a week until security clears me for a new card and until then I have to sign in at the front gate which adds like 6 minutes to my morning every day, and anyway it was such a mess in the kitchen, let me tell you! Anyway that's why you don't have healthcare and its now legal to pay you in dogfood, god Trump is such a tyrant I swear