Hello users of Hexbear, there have been many changes and some drama the past few months.

The recent changes we've been making have been an attempt to create a more safe and welcoming environment for many demographics that have been overlooked in the past.

For any of our comrades that have been unintentionally hurt in this process, we apologise and hope to find a solution that accommodates as many people as possible while still meeting the needs of the marginalised groups who need a space like this the most.

The intent of this post is to provide a space for all users to air grievances with regard to the site. As well as provide suggestions for specific things that could be changed to address your grievance. Comments insulting the mod team or those without a specific means to address your problem may be removed. No commenter will be sitebanned, unless it clearly breaks the code of conduct.

  • whatnots [he/him, it/its]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 days ago

    you are making sense and you're not the only one who's seeing it. you honestly said it much better than what i can say but yeah i think that some people on the site (except for those who spoke on it in the em_poc thread) are taking this one blunder and characterizing null as wholefully in bad faith as possible, especially those that may have had previous arguments with void.

    i liked frauddogg and agreed with void a lot of the time and i think it's fair to say that nulls time on this site has been void on nonstop defence, not without reason. i remember when null first posted on the site void literally got attacked alongside other poc users for hours for discussing racist white queers as a Black queer and some white queer users got fragile about it and claimed null was homophobic when null was obviously speaking to voids experience with racism in queer communities but some just didn't like voids tone.

    yes, null probably should've shown more humility in voids last conversation on the site and I don't know the extent of it but people of colour don't have to be perfect all the time!!!! and the jumping to disregarding void's very real issues with the site entirely and making void out to now be one-dimensional is not it!!! there's a reason people voted for frauddogg in that new years thing, null spoke up when other marginalized users on the site were too tired and burnt out to.

    also it wasn't just frauddog that left and are thinking of leaving. driving away almost every Black hexbear user that i know of on this site is shameful!!!! how many more poc need to leave before other white hexbears see that there's a problem and humble themselves as being a part of it??

    i just think it's shitty and unproductive and inappropriate to keep talking about frauddogg in this way after void left, especially because null didn't leave entirely because of voids last conversation but also because of enormous issues of white fragility, chauvinism, misogyny, and racism from other hexbears on the site.

    anyway i really agree with what you said is what i mean. i'm really really bad at articulating my thoughts but idk whatever i'm just :deeper-sadness:

    edit: added 'also' to paragraph five for clarity

    • dustbunnies [she/her, comrade/them]
      ·
      3 days ago

      to you and @amberSuperMario@lemmygrad.ml and any other em_poc user reading this:

      I want to apologize for anything I've said that has given you the impression that I think frauddogg was a secret troop infiltrating the site or harbored reactionary views.

      I absolutely do not believe that. I like to lurk the reading club threads sometimes, and null made some deeply moving and thought-provoking comments that I can't imagine were anything but genuine. void made good contributions to the site.

      on the surface, our personalities couldn't be more different, but I have been known to get in faces about injustice irl and I'm sure there are people who know irl frauddogg as a sweetie. it takes all kinds, we all contain multitudes, etc. I won't pretend I was a fan of null's tendency to jump to insults in interactions with other local users, but I saw void's popularity and understood that there were social dynamics I was just not comprehending. the popularity of that behavior became a puzzle for me – I wanted to see it the way others were seeing it, especially considering how many people were saying that everyone who didn't get it was a cracker or fragile or part of the problem etc.

      I don't want to be part of the problem. I don't want to be one of the white users making the em_poc users uncomfortable, and I worry a lot that my empathy comes off as apologia to you all. I worry in all my interactions, both online and irl, that my confused questions seem obtuse or judgemental because I get that feedback a lot, and idk how to fix it. after 40 years, the best I have come up with is apologizing thoroughly and often and hope it doesn't start to sound insincere. I'm sorry for anything I've said that has hurt you or made you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome.

      I mentioned the specific users I did because

      • they are not active users
      • the stark difference in their moderation history illustrated my point that some people are moderated differently than most users
      • I do genuinely think null might not have felt compelled to delete void's account if null had been moderated differently. it's easy for a "take-no-prisoners" attitude to become "shoot first, ask questions later," and that can make us vulnerable when we stumble.

      the Code of Conduct is pretty clear about how we're supposed to behave, and it reads to me like it's not just about not hurting others but very much also not hurting ourselves. would frauddogg have expected grace from the community about the troop thing if null had been more willing to offer it to others?

      I hope so. I would like to think it would have been given to void. I know I'm not the only person who read those book club posts and saw a beautiful person they were glad to have on the site.