These sorts of guy never manage to establish why on earth would I want unity with a bunch of people I’m a punchline to anyhow.

Yes. you're right. It's bullshit. Unfortunately while it's their mistake, it's your problem. Because the consequences are for you to suffer and not for them. That's how bigotry works. They should grow and change as people, but because phobia is hegemonic, there needs to be reeducation efforts. And that requires effort from marginalized people and their allies. It's an uphill battle. If we want to form a united working class front against capital, that requires getting working class people to stop marginalizing each other over race, gender, sexuality, etc, which requires massive reeducation campagins, which requires direct action from the very people being targeted and their allies. I wish I could say that wasn't the case. I wish I could say everyone who has passively absorbed reactionary ideology from the cultural hegemony will simply take the initiative and re-educate themselves. But that's not how it works.

I’ll gladly take the nwo globohomo soros cabal

except that's not real, that's an antisemitic conspiracy theory, and even if it were real, "they" wouldn't actually protect you. because it would just be the bourgeois class dictatorship co-opting LGBT identity as yet another marketing demographic and extending fake protection to you that can and will be withdrawn as soon as they're done using you to look progressive. It's not a choice between "le bigoted working class dudebros and le soros cabal". That's a false dichotomy put forward by the reactionaries themselves, and shouldn't be bought into under any circumstances.