I am not saying this to be provocative. Every now and then I think about this and I scorn myself for it, but there is another part of me that feels that this likely isn’t as big of a deal as I think.

I have never been a hardcore antisemite who accused Jews of being behind world domination or anything like that, but on at least a few occasions I have made antisemitic remarks, both intentional and unintentional.

[Examples]

I remember that over a decade ago I was watching somebody play a computer game (can’t remember which) where the player could pick up a cross as a weapon, and I joked, ‘It must be for scaring Jews.’ (I know that you couldn’t see it, but merely typing that made me cringe.)

But I also acted antisemitic unintentionally, like when a woman told me that she was Jewish I said that it was ‘a shock’, which clearly felt off‐putting for her.

There was also a somewhat more recent incident where I tried to amuse an acquaintance by writing a quote attributed to Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, ‘For a Jew nothing is more offensive than the truth.’ I then wrote a list of facts to him (‘water boils at 211.95 ℉’, & cetera), and asked him if he felt offended. Unfortunately, he didn’t get it and he at first thought that I was being completely serious. He then seemed calm and maybe forgiving after I explained my intent, but I’m still embarrassed that my attempt at humor fell so flat.

There were likely a few more remarks that I made, but I can’t unforget them at the moment. Except for one joke that I made that is hard for me to explain due to the software involved.


Maybe I am being overly optimistic here, but if I’m being honest, Jews who know anything about me probably don’t care if I made a few lousy jokes about them years ago, not only because I’ve done better things since then but also because I know now that what I said was wrong.

Maybe if I were formerly an outright white nationalist they’d either feel nervous around me or shun me, but if I only behaved inappropriately a few times, and I know now that I shouldn’t have done that, then I’m guessing that it really isn’t a big deal. At all.