Well I'd rather not have a struggle session every time someone decides to leave. We have enough struggle sessions. If people want to resolve issues, the time to do it is as a participant in the community, not as a parting shot

Shit stirring is an issue though if you're an admin that bans anyone disagreeing with the shit you're stirring, and you ban them for being "transphobes" or "reactionaries" despite being neither. There was a time period where you couldn't even criticize or disagree with her without getting banned for being reactionairy. If you do that then you also make it impossible to actually resolve the conflict.
I think a lot of stuff wouldn't have been sitewide conflicts if it hadn't been for her picking a side and then banning those on the other side for being "reactionairy". It made any resolution impossible because discussion was impossible.
I got called a

for drinking milk. I didn't respond, but another user did. They pointed out that such an accusation was a bit much. They got banned for being reactionairy.

Edit: if this gets removed for misinformation I'd sincerely and in good faith like to ask for an explanation on what that misinfo is.