I don't mind the necropost :) I actually just posted about this again like yesterday so I didn't even realize you were responding to my old comment!

Anyways I understand your concerns and I've formulated my opinion based on those facts (but honestly bullet point #2 is pretty silly: in that case it's pretty clearly on the onus of the person being gendered to update their pronouns).

I get that it is a shame because yeah people can be wrong but I feel like it's a bit of a case of weaponized incompetence: 'oh I didn't know saying that was offensive so I'm under no obligation to actually watch what I'm saying.'

Additionally ofc your argument doesn't address the root problem which is why I'm concerned about this issue: people At Large tend to misgender trans women by calling them "they." I think it's more important to adopt a culture that pressures people into making sure they're gendering people correctly than to allow offensive speech (which misgendering is) to persist.