It's just me, him, and my stepmom this year. If you've never made collard greens, you should give it a try. They're super cheap, super healthy, and impossible to fuck up. And they're fuggin delicious.

  • Woly [any]
    hexagon
    ·
    edit-2
    4 years ago

    Okay, so to elaborate on my recipe:

    • One or two bunches of collard greens, they cook down a lot, so I usually get an armful
    • One onion, minced
    • 2- 5 cloves of garlic, minced
    • 1-2 tablespoons of olive oil (depends on how fatty your meat is, with bacon you might not need any)
    • 3-4 cups of warm water with 1 bullion cube dissolved - FYI between this and the meat, I've never needed to add salt to the dish
    • Either 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar or the juice from half a lemon (this can be adjusted to taste)

    And then I kind of eyeball the following:

    • smoked paprika (regular works, but smoked is better)
    • black pepper (lots)
    • chili flakes (optional)
    • I personally don't use sugar because I like it slightly bitter, but if it doesn't taste right to you a pinch of sugar will help

    I do this all in one pot. I use a cast iron dutch oven, but any big pot with a lid will work.

    Start by washing the collard greens in the biggest bowl you have, or just use your whole sink. Collard greens tend to have grit, so don't skip this step. Once they're washed, I break off the stems at the base of the leaf. You can tear the leaves off of the stems completely, but I like to leave some in there - by the time they're done cooking the stemmy bits are just as soft as the leaves.

    Take three or four leaves at a time and roll them up tightly, then chop them up with a big sharp knife. When I cut them, I kind of angle the knife back and forth so that I'm not making these really long cross sections of leaf, if that makes sense, but I think it's okay either way.

    Set your giant pile of leafy bits aside and start frying your meat of choice in the olive oil. If it's sausage, it should be pretty well crumbled. If you're going with bacon, I usually fry the bacon, then take it out and chop it up before throwing it back in.

    Once the meat is getting nice and brown, throw in the onion and garlic, and the chili flakes. Let that all cook down until the onions are soft and translucent, then dump in handfuls of greens. I try to mix the greens around a little in the oil, it makes them turn nice and bright. If you can't fit all the greens in at once, just keep stirring until they settle down and add more. While you're doing this, start pouring in your broth and keep mixing until everything is a big bubbling mess. Add your vinegar/lemon juice.

    Now you just let them simmer with the lid on, stirring occasionally. Collard greens can cook for hours, they get softer but they never fall apart. The original recipe says two hours, but I usually get impatient after an hour or so. I add the smoked paprika and the black pepper at the end, and then simmer it with the lid off for 15-20 minutes to cook the broth down until it's below the greens. If you're greens are too soupy, just leave the lid off for longer. And taste regularly! It's the best way to decide whether to add more sugar, vinegar, salt, etc.

    That's it! Turn the heat off and let it cool for 10 minutes, or eat it right away if you want to burn your mouth.

    I should add, it would be super easy to make this dish vegan, just take out the meat and add more olive oil. The only thing is you would want some vegan product that can substitute the savory umami flavor that the meat adds to the vegetables - without that, the greens might be too bitter. And more salt, if it's not coming from the meat.