I am traumogenic (trauma created/clinical DID) plural system. It is highly likely that I never had a "core personality" that I was born as and instead have always had either an infant mental state or multiple personalities. (During the time most babies begin to form a coherent personality, I formed several. It is possible that not every system forms like this but highly like I did)
Every time I've felt I was singular, I've experienced mental walls, amnesia and other DID symptoms. If someone could do a "I'm singular ama" that'd be cool because I have questions too. :)
Thank you for sharing. This reminds me of some experiences I've had. DID diagnosis requires there to be another personality but also CPTSD is very real (I have it and it is often if not always co morbid with DID. ) There might be a chance there is really poor internal communication. (Which is common and a way of being created to survive. If communication is extremely bad, it isn't a moral failing but a sign that communication HAD to be extremely bad in order for a system to survive.) It could also be that there is a condition going on that isn't DID but is an extremely severe dissoaciative disorder. What you wrote does sound extremely relatable to me.
I've had clinicians say they weren't even going to attempt to diagnosis me during the pandemic because they wanted to see my switches in person. A lot of diagnostic tests by specialists are very centered around having them witness a switch or more in a clinical setting and with amnesia present for the switch. Usually they recommend internal communication efforts as a way to reduce "lost time" and overall adverse symptoms.
specifically its related to depersonalization so its more my personality gets erased for a bit. i got diagnosed with it at my psychiatrist office because it would happen regularly because discussing details of my trauma can trigger it sometimes, but it also has seemingly random triggers as well.