In Soviet Cuba, children are taught to read gommulist propaganda. My Vuvuzuelan granpappy (who owned every egg in Chyna) never learned how to read, and he was the most anti-gubmumulaist person I've ever not met (he was forced to not have an iPhone and died in a Vietnamese gulag holodomor before I was born), and I have sworn to carry on his legacy.

You need to respect that, Sir.