Writing this as the coffee is doing it's magic. Today's feature is light brown, with a fathered texture and weak structural integrity. Stink level is average.

Report in with your stink pickles. Bidet gang rise up!

  • pudcollar [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I've had hemorrhoids for weeks and weeks, internal and external. I bought some TCM "Mayinglong" butt paste on the recommendation of reddit, it's got some wild combo of calomine, vaseline, amber, artificial bezoar, artificial musk, and pearl. It seemed to help. I finally got serious about it and I've been eating big bowls of oatmeal for breakfast and lots of vegetables for dinner, along with fiber gummies in the morning. I'm taking 3-5 shits a day now. I'm farting around the clock, relentlessly. Every morning I have a huge fart the moment I wake up. This morning I dropped an unbroken 2 foot coil, thick and brown, that lazily circled the bowl until it broke the water level. I called my lover in to look at it and they agreed that it was an impressive movement.

    The other day i was eating lunch at home, I hauled off and shat the hell out of my shorts thinking I was just gonna loose a raunchy fart. It was all water so I couldn't feel what was in store. I don't always shit my pants, but I'm definitely an occasional pants shitter. I love farting too much. I get in trouble.

    • tactical_trans_karen [she/her, comrade/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 year ago

      This morning I dropped an unbroken 2 foot coil, thick and brown, that lazily circled the bowl until it broke the water level.

      A perfect Amazonian Anaconda, classic, well done doodoo assbear! chefs-kiss

    • LanyrdSkynrd [comrade/them, any]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I had hemorrhoids and my doctor told me to try citrus bioflavonoids. They seemed to work, but it could have been a coincidence. They were cheap enough that you might want to give it a shot.