I always hated him, I think, even before I was a communist.

    • pooh [she/her, any]
      ·
      10 months ago

      Here's a sample of what to expect:

      Alright, folks, here's the thing: everything's gone "woke." My bananas? They're now "ethically-sourced sun-yellow fruit beings." Tried to make a smoothie, and they hit me with a cultural appropriation seminar.

      Breakfast used to be simple. Now my cereal demands recognition for its organic past before I eat it. I mean, come on, Wheaties, I just want some fiber!

      Even walks aren't the same. A squirrel handed me a pamphlet about rubber tree exploitation because of my sneakers. Buddy, I just wanted some fresh air, not a lecture!

      In this brave new world, even water’s got an identity crisis. If my toaster starts a podcast on gluten oppression, I swear I'm done.