I want to be respectful but if they say they don't care what pronouns I use for them, that feels like it puts the decision on me to choose what to call them and I guess I would probably default to "they" because choosing a gender for them feels weird... am I wrong?
I'm tomboyish queer chick, probably wouldve seriously considered transitioning if born in later decades. Get called sir, man a lot. Doesn't bother me. I got used to playing mmorpgs, everyone is assumed to be male, I never took issue with it, sometimes had fun with it.
My understanding is... if you're a minority with special requests. You're gonna know people might be confused. Don't judge harshly. Give people a chance to understand. If you want to be referred to a certain way, it's up to you to say that up front. And be prepared not everyone will be receptive.
I'm not speaking for everyone, or people wanting any, all pronouns used. This is more for the people wanting to accommodate, worried they'll offend.