I want to be respectful but if they say they don't care what pronouns I use for them, that feels like it puts the decision on me to choose what to call them and I guess I would probably default to "they" because choosing a gender for them feels weird... am I wrong?
I'm a man, I give my pronouns as any/all, because I'm comfortable with all.
I have a coworker who only uses feminine pronouns for me, because that's what she uses for everyone, including herself. She is also a man. I also use feminine pronouns for myself sometimes, eg. when quoting something I find analogous to myself that was written using feminine pronouns.
Obviously both male and neutral pronouns are fine as well.
Gender is a social construct, and IMO most men who get offended by being referred to by feminine words do so because they really believe being a woman is lesser to being a man. I'm not about that.