I've been holding off on making this post because I didn't want to distract from the trans issues that have been front and center on this site recently or be accused of concern trolling or tone policing. But since those issues don't show any sign of being resolved any time soon, I'm just going ahead.

I don't want to be the cis equivalent of a white person who gets big mad about being called a mayo or whatever. But it seems to me that the intention behind the term "cissie" is that A. it creates an equivalent to the t-slur to turn around on cis people and B. is intended to trigger the toxic masculinity of cis dudes by essentially calling them "sissies".

Fortunately, I'm not very invested in being a "masculine" guy. Unfortunately, I had a lot of experience having my masculinity policed growing up for being too effeminate, not liking the things I was supposed to like, being too emotional, being "f*ggy", you name it. While I definitely don't think it's intentional on the part of our trans comrades, being called a "cissie" in a hostile manner (as with some of the "CISSIES MAD CISSIES MAD" posts that go around this site) really triggers those feelings.

For me, it feels like being a white person who is called a mayo, except I actually spent my childhood being pelted with jars of mayo.

Edit: At the advice of @breadandcircuses, I want to be crystal clear that this not a call out post or or an attempt to tone police anyone. Making fun of cis people is cool and good. I react badly to a specific term and this is the fault of patriarchy, not our trans comrades. I posted here in c/menby because I know that there's a lot of chapos who deal with similar issues

  • breadandcircuses [she/her]
    ·
    4 years ago

    edit: read this whole comment thread (pretty short) for an update on shit i said here.

    get rocks thrown at you as people call you a "cissie" and then tell me makes you feel like you're getting jars of mayo thrown at you lol. rocks hurt, speaking from experience. they certainly hurt more than the slurs they were throwing.

    I don’t want to be the cis equivalent of a white person who gets big mad about being called a mayo or whatever. But

    you are.

    edit: just remembered we had this emote :cissues:

    • PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      This is supposed to a space for masc folks to talk. I had an issue so I posted here to get perspective from them. I didn't post it on main or in a trans space, for that precise reason that it's not your problem. It's mine, and I hope that was clear from the post. But coming to this sub just to shit on me for posting honestly is not appreciated.

      • breadandcircuses [she/her]
        ·
        4 years ago

        apologies, didn't see the comm as i was scrolling in all > new. if this was self crit it would be a good post. as is, it's identical to a white person complaining about being called cracker or honky.

        • PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS [he/him, they/them]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Appreciated. I wouldn't exactly call it self-crit, but more of an attempt to sort through why it gets under my skin so badly. I feel like it shouldn't, but it does. I don't think that poking fun of cis people is inherently bad or discriminatory or beyond the pale, or that trans folks need to take my feelings into account before posting. But being called "cissie" even in this context just really triggers a lot of bad feelings from when I was younger, and I have to try and deal with that.

      • PapaEmeritusIII [any]
        ·
        4 years ago

        masc spaces can also be trans spaces when they’re inclusive of trans men and enbies, which this one is

        • PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS [he/him, they/them]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Sorry if this was not clear. There are explicitly trans spaces on this site like TEL and trans-inclusive spaces like this one (and no trans-exclusionary spaces because we don't roll that way). My point is that I didn't post it in the general area or post it explicitly to call out trans comrades, but rather here, which is for masc folks of all types. I would be more than happy to hear perspectives on this from transmasculine comrades on this if they cared to do so.

          Idk. Maybe I'll just delete this post. I'm spending more time trying to justify myself than anything else

    • BrokenPolecat [any]
      ·
      4 years ago

      As a bisexual man, I've been harassed, bullied, and attacked for being a "sissy" so being reminded of that when someone calls me what is essentially the same word with one letter changed kinda sucks. For me at least it's not "don't use mean words against cis people," it's "don't use a word that is explicitly meant to be evocative of a word regularly used by people harassing gay/bisexual men"