Had to crosspost this one (I'm not OP) because this has literally been destroying my life for 7 years, I'm unemployed and technically homeless (couchsurfing) because of it 🥲

yes and that the entire reason covid was a god send to me because not being forced to work in person w others means fewer medications

It’s a spectrum disorder, so it can present in a number of different ways and with differing degrees of severity. Autism can range from high functioning Asperger’s to people who are unable to communicate using language or process their environments and require full time care.

If it’s adversely affecting your life, it’s time to seek treatment. There’s successful counseling, exercises, and medications that can be used to address what I’m guessing is severe social anxiety. Whether or not it stems from autism is a separate question, and that call should be made by a professional. In any case, you’re far from the only person to suffer from it, but having it to a degree that it’s controlling your life is fairly extreme. You should find someone who can properly diagnose and treat your condition, because it doesn’t have to stay like that.