So, I have autism and also very bad social anxiety, so I don't have a massive amount of social interactions, so it is easy for me to remember pretty much all of them. This also means that I spend way too much time obsessing over any significant interactions I have, particularly negative ones, which then just make me feel more upset and anxious than I was at the time and sometimes leads to a breakdown. I am also completely unable to deal with conflict

For whatever reason this website, unlike the original subreddit is way more invested in dunking on each other imo. This site has a very hostile atmosphere where it feels like everyone is constantly at each others throats and it makes me just not want to come here at all.

I also want to take exception to some of the recent posts by @TransComrade69 about the Beyond Pink or Blue book, particularly the part in the original post about it only being like 170 pages, so you could read it in like 3 days, so if you don't, it is reactionary. No, one of the symptoms of autism is executive function issues, which I suffer from quite significantly. I could read that book, but it would require me using a lot of energy and necessetitate me neglecting other parts of my life. I struggle hard enough to read books necessary for classes, if I were to try and read that book, it would take months, if not over a year for me to complete it. So, while I understand why @TransComrade69 wants people to read the book and is pushing it, as I am sure there is lots of valuable information within it, I do not at all appreciate the tone that was taken in parts of the original post.

Anyway, I've deleted this account twice already, and I'm doing it for the 3rd and probably final time after this. Social media in general is bad for a lot of these things, but this site kind of takes it to another level.

  • Notaroboticfish [any]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I mean, I could but this is like a 160 page book being divided up into like 4 or 5 page chunks to be read once a day. As I said in the OP, this will take months, if not over a year depending on my motivation levels. The issue with it taking this long is that by the time I finish it, I will probably have forgotten what was at the start and would need to re-read parts of it again anyway.

    Also, though I'm sure they work for some people, putting reminders and deadlines does not work for me and in fact often makes the situation worse. Because I don't meet the deadline or listen to the reminder due to the executive function problems, and then I feel guilty for not having done it and begin to beat myself up over not having done it. So, then I do something like playing video games to try and relax myself and calm myself so I am capable of doing it, but that just makes me feel more guilty for doing that instead of doing the task I should be doing, all of which makes me very mentally exhausted and generally means the task doesn't get done, or gets done but well overdue and after significant mental anguish if it is an important task. Different strategies for completing tasks work for different people, but I am yet to find the one that works for me.

    *This is just a side-note, but I am worried it may come across as me complaining that trans issues aren't interesting enough for me to read the book. No, it is kind of the same way with almost everything, even things that I do enjoy a lot. There is literally only one topic I can sustain an interest in for that extended period of time, which is Rugby League. This is not intended as a value judgement on trans issues vs. other political issues vs. anything else. I guess you could say it is a value judgement vs. Rugby League, but literally every other thing will lose out to that too.

      • Fakename_Bill [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Please stop telling people in c/neurodiverse what they ought to be able to do. Concentrating long enough to read a book, even a short one, can be very difficult for some people. This is c/neurodiverse, and that kind of shaming is not welcome here.

      • Notaroboticfish [any]
        ·
        4 years ago

        It is 40 days of work, mathematically it would take no more than 4 months as per the schedule you indicated, with consistent effort. I would think that was really cool, if you decided to do that, although you could also put this effort toward something else in your life which interests you more.

        Ok, I really wish everything was as simple to fix as you seem to believe it is, as that would make so many things in my life apart from this way way easier, but you really don't seem to be getting the fact that this isn't just laziness or something, my brain is just really not wired to do that. 4 months is still too long imo, but it is only 4 months if you assume a constant static progression. More accurately, I might read 30 pages in 4 days and then about 10 in the next 2 and a half months.

        the reaction and oppositionality you display is the most notable takeaway about the situation.

        This is another example of you just absolutely not getting it. The "reaction" was the OP which was not particularly aggressive or defensive or intended as a callout post against anyone. Maybe you read it that way, but that was not my intention. I literally only brought it up because it was the first example of a recent post that made me feel uncomfortable that I could think of. The "opposition" to you is that you seem completely unable to understand that although some executive function issues can be mitigated, they can't really be eliminated entirely and that doing so is exhaustive.

        I also disagree that the stakes are so low, as you say. If you take the posts by TC69 at face value, as I initially did, then it's literally just calling me a reactionary transphobic POS for something that is out of my control, even if that was never the intention. Instead of thinking about as If I'm lazy, like you clearly do, perhaps a better comparison would be to if there was a text that was only available in a second or third language in which you are only self-confident in. Sure, you can read the words and sentences and they make sense, but it is slow and takes a lot more effort for you to do than for native speakers. At that point, you can either try to slog through it with great difficulty and possibly neglect other things due to time constraints, or you can decide it isn't for you and move on. Would you then appreciate it if native speakers began attacking you for not having read this text?