"Welcome to our show, 'Wait - Is That Actually Even Legal,' where we take you through a normal day of going about a normal day anywhere in the southern United States of America."

"With us today us our cohost, Steven Williamson, local tradesman, city council member, and union shop steward, whose entire family has been found tied up in the trunks of various cars at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, a fun fact which absolutely does not immediately also broadcast to any of our listeners from the South or Midwest exactly where Steven's family, on average, falls under the Fitzpatrick scale quantifying non melanoma lifetime skin cancer risk. "