I'm trying to be a writer. One thing I like to write about are things I hate so I wrote about think tanks. In about 2k words it's essentially about why they're bad and shouldn't be trusted. Oh and one laid me off in October.

It's not really edited and some of it may not flow very well. I also copied it into docs so the spacing is weird but didn't feel like fixing it. I also ripped off a phrase I heard on chapo one time. I feel like Matt said it but I can't really remember. I think the hyperlinks make the read better but do as you please. Idk if I'm looking for specific feedback but if you have any sort of comment I'd love to hear it.

Thanks a heap.

Also, I made up the name on the docs account so don't worry.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/18LH7Dic-BG6dbstPIjHSsZ5oPjgPXlL-TIFGrL8q0BU/edit

  • LibsEatPoop4 [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    pretty well written. Loved the jokes and the phrases. Nice links too. I'd say submit it to a magazine like Current Affairs. . To me it seemed to fit their style. And they'll help you refine/edit it. Good work tho.

    • PodcastEnjoyer [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      Yea I was thinking about the Baffler but I think it better fits Current Affairs. Thanks for the kind words!

  • Octofad [they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    I liked it! A couple references I did not get but I don't think it took away from the pieces efficacy. Made me laugh at several points too. Very evocative writing. As you say it could do with an edit, but I have some attention issues and I could stick with it.

  • bubbalu [they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Could you open commenting privileges? I'm a pretty good editor.

  • MathVelazquez [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Also, I made up the name on the docs account so don’t worry.

    Maybe change the link to read only or something that lets you look at it anonymously. For me it immediately opened up and saved it in my personal google docs which puts the readers info out there. Fixed by opening in incognito though.

    I liked it, but I think the first half could use some reworking. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't love referencing the fucked up things these think tanks come up with without actually going into detail. I know you provided links, but I think somebody who doesn't have a strong opinion on think tanks already won't be engaged by some of this:

    "From the astonishingly and almost comically naïve to the outright demonic, think tanks consistently produce research and opinions that only serve to further immiserate the most vulnerable people in society and enrich their patrons. Even in the midst of a generation defining world health crisis and economic collapse to follow it up, no prominent think tank has proposed single-payer health care, a rent freeze, or continued stimulus checks allowing people to stay home as any sort of ameliorative policy measure. "

    Not trying to be nit picky, but I think you should pepper in some concrete examples of what they proposed in these first couple paragraphs. I'm here to read your essay, I don't want to go read another article just for context. Latter in the essay this isn't an issue and I think the section on Neera Tanden is stronger because of it. These are ghouls, literally just give some ghoulish quotes that will shock the reader with the banality of their brutality. If you've worked on the inside, your insight into how they launder American imperialism is what I want to read.

    • PodcastEnjoyer [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      I definitely agree with you on my lack of providing concrete stuff outside of the Tanden thing. Just got kind of lazy and hyperlinked my sources instead. I appreciate your feedback.