"Citizens of Earth, I have hijacked your communication signals around the world to insure this message's content is fully known. I, Emperor Musk, have laid claim to the Martian sphere of influence. Phobos watches over his red host as do I within his celestial womb. Let it be known, Earthlings, Mars is free and independent under MY RULE! Obviously, we will still heavily rely on supplies from Earth and larger government subsidies, but make no mistake, we are independent now! Also, don't, like, send a nuke or something because that would be, like, really not cool. Ok...bye then. Remember no nukes! Real byes now...."
Knew a music label executive's son in college. He was dumb as rocks and paid me to do a lot of his math work. I did it because I was poor and when he inevitably got drunk and passed out by around 5PM on a Tuesday I would steal his beer, weed, and/or coke. One of the dumbest motherfuckers I have ever met and he's on the Nashville city council now.
But yeah, "ChInEsE aRe ChEaTeRs. I hAvE mErIt ThOuGh!"