You're obviously going to know better than me though
not necessarily lol. knowing better than me is a low, low bar.
anyway, i took a look at your comment in the pinned thread, and that shit's pretty relatable to me. impaired executive function almost certainly plays a role in whatever this shit is i'm experiencing
yeah i've definitely felt that before, and it probably contributes to my situation
but even when i fantasize it's really hard to imagine myself as the protagonist
getting drunk does make me superficially sociable, but the shitty emotional distance and sexual apathy are still there underneath
tbh the emotional distance might just be some personality shit i could fix with therapy, but the sexual apathy is frustrating because it feels more hardwired into me somehow
i just wish i understood how all this sex stuff is actually put together in the brain. then at least i would know which things are coupled to which other things, and be able to guess the extent to which i can realistically expect my sexuality to change as the rest of me changes. like, if i go through growth process A my sexuality will change in such and such a way, and if i go through growth process B my sexuality will change in some partially overlapping way, or whatever.
unfortunately it happens even when i'm feeling relaxed. it's just like... sexual apathy that i can't turn off.
as soon as i'm no longer around someone, i tend to let the friendship fade away. i don't seek people out or maintain things online. i tend to feel guilty and regretful about this but i keep doing it anyway.
whether or not that applies to me is a question i can't easily answer, but i agree that these things need to be talked about more
do people actually respond in there
idk enough about the brain to have the faintest idea what this is, or how nature/nurture it is, or anything
what comm should this go in
we're a bit different here. i've only ever had really subtle ones, subtle enough that like... never seeing them again wouldn't have upset me.
which is kinda frightening. because like, i want to meet someone and get married at some point in my life, and how's that shit gonna happen if it doesn't start with a crush? the closest thing i get to an intense wanting-to-be-around-someone feeling is when i meet someone i think is really smart or unique in a way i want to understand. consciously or subconsciously, i start trying to pick apart what gives them that interesting edge, until some part of me is satisfied and gets bored of them and drags the rest of me away from them like i'm an inert sack of shit.