Coworker/friend/loved one: "So why is XYZ happening?"

Brain: Aww yiss. I will anticipate all possible questions and forks in the conversation, say it all, thus saving everyone time.

Brain: Wait. Remember how you've been trying to keep it brief? Try that now.

Me: "Well, it was 8:30am after all."

Coworker/friend/loved one: "Er ... I'm sorry what now?"

Brain: They took the bait. THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE

Me, 5 mins later: "... yeah so anyway, what was the question again?"

TBH for many years it's felt like most accounts (or at least the ones that bubbled up into my feed) were angry people venting about whatever. Like, the angrier they were, the more engagement they were hoping for. That was a surefire way for me to at least move on to someone else, or to just close the app. Don't need anyone harshing my mellow. The shouty people can go find a wall to yell at.

I barely get on these days. And I don't doubt that it's gotten worse.

If you need more fodder for a future response, you could break down both "seasonal and holiday decorations".

List the common/popular seasons/holidays where decorations are brought out, before or after having described your plant. For example:

• my plant is not a Valentine's Day card

• my plant is not an Easter egg, or made of chocolate

• my plant is not a firework

• my plant is not a somber meditation of the lives of our troops lost in battle

• my plant is not a Halloween decoration

• my plant is not a turkey dinner

• my plant is not a Christmas ornament, nor is it a Christmas tree

• my plant is not a large, illuminated ball, sliding down a pole between 11:59pm Dec 31 and 12:00am Jan 1, not is it a party hat or party favor

• etc

I'm sure you could throw together a much better list than the one above :)