There are like five categories in the Game Awards this year where if the seemingly most likely to win candidate actually wins I will become the Joker. The burden of being a colossal hater :(

I knew we shouldn't have given you the unilateral termination clause in the polycule contract, but did anyone listen to me? No!

There is a real epidemic of LGBT+ folks' journeys of self-discovery making them think "everyone must be just like me, they just don't know it yet"

Mathematicians are always trying to find new prime numbers, but all the ones they have found lately are impractically large. Maybe they should try looking at smaller numbers just to make sure they didn't miss any, when was the last time someone checked if 27 is prime?

No, it is sadly an ideal to which reality will have to adjust itself

Wow they hate me

The manga always felt to me like the author wanted to make a regular shonen story but could only get it greenlit as a semi softcore porn thing, and once it got a following it immediately stopped feeling pornographic.

Wow that does sound pretty bad. Luckily our beloved Democrats still have months to stop the genocide and negotiate peace in the region by threatening to withdraw support. I'm sure they will do it any day now.

I just ate a pizza that was almost too garlicky, which is something I didn't believe was possible before this

I'm trying to come up with some insightful take about why Veilguard is kinda bad, but it really feels like just about everything in it is slightly off. Characters will change their facial expression half a second too late. Dialogue choices will often have the character say a different quip than the one I chose for seemingly no reason. There is a chest full of treasure behind every corner, even when it makes no sense, like when I found one in an alley three meters and a ladder away from a beggar. The world is full of puzzles that are in-universe locks, but they do a very bad job of keeping unwanted people out and seem like they would be a pain to open normally. Characters will say things that don't quite make sense like "if someone thinks they know all the secrets of this town, they are lying". I could go on.

Any of these alone would be a goofy nitpick, but these kinds of things are so impressively ever-present that the whole really suffers.

when the elves ask for an 8-hour workday

Showing up at the tattoo parlor and asking for a single letter tattooed on one of my knuckles, with some of my other knuckles bandaged for what I swear is a completely unrelated reason

It's not even rhetorically good, because testing it by applying it to the real world, which is surely the first thing you would do to argue against it, immediately reveals that you can use this to just arbitrarily decide who to tolerate.

but I bet you can find so many apples with it

Injecting myself with stuff to turn into that guy sitting at the corner table of every bar

How about a new office, Secretary of Social Media? The reddit minister.

It's going to be so funny when the victorious communist revolutionaries find the CIA database and it turns out none of it was an op, people just did all that on their own

Somehow even lesser son of pretty mediocre sires

I'm just afraid this instability will be used as an opportunity for invasion by the steppe nomods

The artist knew what they were doing, they chose to give the monkey butt dimples even though they make no sense because of the fur