• Abracadaniel [he/him]
    ·
    2 days ago

    A car marketed to mac-concern who spends time thinking about how badass he'd be in various kinetic engagements.

  • rhubarb [he/him]
    ·
    2 days ago

    The Cybertruck will protect you from most muzzleloader fire, but watch out for the enemy 12-pounders

    • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
      ·
      2 days ago

      The cybertruck will stop enemy crossbow bolts but beware the arquebusiers

      • Alaskaball [comrade/them]A
        ·
        2 days ago

        You really think it could stop a crossbow bolt? Like from a war crossbow armed with an armor piercing spike?

      • LocalOaf [they/them, undecided]
        ·
        2 days ago

        Okay, now I have to write some kinda music thing titled "Beware the Arquebusiers"

        maxwell-party

        I need a genre, an instrument that you want to carry the melody, and some kinda lyrical angle or hook or something

        I'm thinking dbeat? Black metal? Crust? Guitar driven probably?

          • LocalOaf [they/them, undecided]
            ·
            2 days ago

            GOOD rec

            Checking them out

            I was kinda thinking of like, The Secret or Young & In The Way (fuck their bassist though, don't support them financially)

          • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
            ·
            2 days ago

            How the hell have I not listened to Barrow Wight yet? I just assumed it was a black metal band!

              • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
                ·
                2 days ago

                Okay. Barrow Wight hit things well and it helps I'm a huge Tolkien geek, but when crust gets too far down that metal road I start to lose interest. I'll check em out but I do know Barrow Wight is succeeding at something I'm normally not into. My taste in stenchcore is refined and snobby as hell.

                • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]
                  hexagon
                  M
                  ·
                  2 days ago

                  Yeah, i think you'll probably like BHD more than youd guess going into it, but you might not be as enthusiastic as BW. I like a little more metal in my crust, the Prophecy of Doom LP is something that's created an itch that nothing else I've heard has seemed to scratch. I don't even like death metal that much, but the older, slower style blended with punk they do hits it for me. Can't get into neocrust myself, so I get what you're saying with having specific taste.

  • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
    ·
    2 days ago

    The car is bullet proof except for where someone would aim their bullets normally

  • ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 days ago

    Lol, the reason he specifies a tommy gun is because it's .45 caliber, and standard 45 ammo is subsonic by default. It will literally only stop that, a standard 9mm will go right through. And knowing the cybertruck, I wouldn't be surprised if they just shot it with a 45 handgun and decided "yup, it stops .45" and never actually tested it out of a longer barrel.

    This is not fiction.

    The surest mark of the bullshitter

    • LocalOaf [they/them, undecided]
      ·
      2 days ago

      Turning a cybertruck into swiss cheese mag dumping 50 rounds of 5.7x28mm out of a P90 for trve kvlt cybërpvnk cred

      cyber-lenin dril

      Show

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]
      ·
      2 days ago

      That stood out to me too...most guns and ammunition are NOT subsonic because bullets traveling faster than the speed of sound is what makes them effective. Like okay neat your truck can stop a BB gun. But you won't even hear the shot when an M2010 round goes through your door and out the other side.

  • EstraDoll [she/her]
    ·
    2 days ago

    Show

    me when the quality automobile i purchased from Tesla Motors is in fact impervious to bullets fired from a submachine gun. (This will keep me safe in my planned future vacation to visit Chicago in 1929 in my fucking time machine that can take my fucking car with me)

    • Sleepless One@lemmy.ml
      ·
      2 days ago

      This will keep me safe in my planned future vacation to visit Chicago in 1929 in my fucking time machine that can take my fucking car with me

      You joke, but the cybertruck has the same "I fucking love science" techbro vibes as the delorian, the only car to have ever been used for time travel.

      Show

      I imagine the fumes from a lithium fire could cause one to hallucinate that they're traveling through time in the inevitable event the truck spontaneously combusts.

  • RedWizard [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 days ago

    "I'm gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, chrome, no good truck off my property... before I pump your guts full of led...."

    Show

  • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 days ago

    It would be the perfect vehicle for bootlegging if only it had range, reliability, hauling capacity, and didn't stick out like a sore thumb!

    • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]
      hexagon
      M
      ·
      2 days ago

      Modern remake of Smokey and the Bandit with cybertrucks and the beer run is over in 20 minutes after the bandit has to recharge, and the other 70 minutes of the movie are them being needlessly brutalized by the police

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]
      ·
      2 days ago

      You can probably also identify them reliably even without the license plate just by looking at the discoloration and corrosion patterns on the panels.

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]
    ·
    2 days ago

    Also, I'm pretty sure it's not even resistant to subsonic projectiles

    Couple of CyberTruck bros shot up their trucks to prove it and ended up ruining them

    • Beaver [he/him]
      ·
      2 days ago

      I can't figure out why people are being so dense about it. The sheets used for the door on the production vehicles are 14ga (1.8mm thick) 301 stainless steel. Some of the original prototypes used 3mm thick, which would approach some level of effectiveness against handgun ammo. But because that just makes the whole truck heavy as fuck for no reason, they did the obvious thing, which was to just use thinner, non-bullet-proof steel.

    • BelieveRevolt [he/him]
      ·
      2 days ago

      I assumed it definitely isn't. Not because I've seen those videos, but it's just safe to assume my-hero is full of shit.

  • mayo_cider [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 days ago

    shotgun

    A thick jacket will stop birdshot if you're far enough away

    And it's not that far away

  • Infamousblt [any]
    ·
    2 days ago

    The kinds of people who are into this shit are the same kinds of people who live in the quietest suburb you can think of, keep a loaded gun on their bedside table, and tell everyone that will listen about how safe they are because they do it and how stupid you are for not doing it.