Sorry, but somewhere along the way in leftist circles, "don't tone police me" became synonymous with "I'm allowed to be as shitty as I want to other people because of my trauma" and that's the behavior I can't get down with. Trauma is an explanation, not an excuse.

From a fellow trans person: I know you mean well, but shame/ridicule is the least effective agent of change. This kind of attitude I hear not just from you but other leftist queer friends just straight up leaves a bad taste in people's mouths and does nothing to convince folks of your cause, no matter how good your intentions are. To quote a Tshirt I once saw: Kindness is more punk rock than a middle finger.

Collective care and justice should be rooted in compassion, not denigration and superiority complexes.

And these ADA accommodations were hard-fought for by disability activists, many of them disabled themselves because nobody else cared! The same thing is happening with any kind of prejudice or injustice against any marginalized group. We need to stop with the "fuck you, I got mine" mentality if we hope to advance as a compassionate species. But the older I get, the more I feel the tribalism is too hard-coded into humans and is too easily exploited by greedy/fascist interests. Solidarity is the only way...if we could just get over ourselves for one second.