I’m not sure what’s going on over there, but half the time I see a post from there or go into a comment section and it’s just…bad. Like old reddit the_donald bad. Constant trolling, etc. You TS just really bad vibes. I’ve been blocking the communities as they come up, but I’m not sure what else I can do.

  • xXthrowawayXx [none/use name]
    hexbear
    77
    10 months ago

    you'll never find another instance as trans friendly as hexbear.

    if you need to cut allies off to avoid getting trolled idk man, that seems lame.

    • radiofreeval [she/her]
      hexbear
      65
      10 months ago

      We removed downvotes so nobody could downvote trans people. We are the the only instance that has required pronoun tags (we ban people who complain about them). WE LOVE OUR TRANS COMRADES

    • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
      hexbear
      30
      10 months ago

      you’ll never find another instance as trans friendly as hexbear.

      You mean other than the one I admin right? The one that your users are currently brigading

      • Starlet [she/her, it/its]
        hexbear
        56
        10 months ago

        You mean other than the one I admin right?

        With all due respect, you do host a vaushite comm

        • @HornyOnMain
          hexbear
          37
          edit-2
          10 months ago

          You mean other than the one I admin right?

          I literally had someone from lemm.ee openly being enbyphobic in my replies to one of my posts in 196 and they didn't even get banned, just had their comment deleted.

          Show
          [The link was to the picture of the pig shitting on its balls, but I edited the post later to add links to actual sources about the stuff I alluded to]

          In hexbear they wouldve been banned within about 20 minutes of making the comment after being publicly bullied, blahaj.zone isnt as queer friendly as hexbear because it's not as unfriendly to bigots.

          Blahaj is still my second favourite instance on Lemmy after hexbear because it's like the second most queer friendly instance and I've had a lot of pleasant interactions with it's users, but still, to say they're more queer friendly than the instance that was willing to basically rip itself in two and stitch itself back together to remove transphobes seems a bit much

          • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
            hexbear
            21
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            I literally had someone from lemm.ee openly being enbyphobic in my replies to one of my posts in 196 and they didn’t even get banned, just had their comment deleted.

            That's a limitation of the moderation tools in Lemmy. Only one report appears per instance, and if a community mod actions it, the report is cleared, but they lack the ability to instance ban.

            And when that happens, the admins who can instance ban never even see the report. That's as true of hexbear as here.

            Either way, that user is banned now that I'm aware they exist. A quick look through my moderation history will show you that queerphobia or gatekeeping of any kind gets you a permanent ban

            • @HornyOnMain
              hexbear
              26
              10 months ago

              Ok, I didn't realise that, sorry for mischaracterising you and your instance. Also in retrospect I was being overly combative, so sorry about that too.

              It would be a shame to defed because I like some of the communities here and like these are the two biggest trans instances, so like, hopefully it doesn't come to that

          • kristina [she/her]
            hexbear
            16
            10 months ago

            for the record i dont think starlet is a mod for any community on hexbear in particular

      • ThereRisesARedStar [she/her, they/them]
        hexbear
        31
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        They did use the word "another instance" on this instance, so there might be some language ambiguity that is being misread.

        Edit: also it appears you host vaushites on this instance, so it appears the way you interpreted it seems correct.

      • mar_k [he/him]
        hexbear
        23
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        I'm sorry but I don't understand how commenting under a post from an instance we're federated with is considered brigading. It's not like we're posting about/linking to a separate space to infiltrate. Our communities are under the same umbrella, so this just shows up in our feed.

        Are people from hexbear jumping into a discussion that should maybe primarily be reserved for blahaj? Maybe, but I think people just want to offer our side of things, and we honestly just don't want the two biggest queer spaces in the fediverse breaking up because we're often edgy and argumentative/passionate about leftist beliefs.

        I also don't think we're derailing from anything or preventing you from having a defederation conservation among yourselves just because we leave replies.

        • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
          hexbear
          13
          10 months ago

          I’m sorry but I don’t understand how commenting under a post from an instance we’re federated with is considered brigading

          The top two posts on your instance currently are pointing your users at this thread. The second one (https://hexbear.net/post/339116) is specifically pointing your users at me, and is posted in a community that is described as "This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes"

          I'm calling it a brigade, because that's what it is.

          Unless that changes, unless something is done, defederation seems inevitable. Blahaj Zone and Blahaj Lemmy exist to give trans and gender diverse folk a safe and protected space. Right now, folks from your instance are doing their absolute best to disrupt that space, because of a difference in political ideology.

          Here, in this in this space, for me as an admin, political ideology takes a back seat to protecting trans folk and their spaces. That goal is why I wanted to federate with you even though lemmygrad got dropped. You, like us, are through and through protective of gender diverse folk. But somehow, that's not enough for you. We don't agree on politics and we never will, but we both do agree that queer and gender diverse rights are under threat around the world, and instead of finding solidarity in that, you're turning on your peers, whilst patting yourself on the back for being inclusive.

          You all should be fucking well ashamed.

          • usa_suxxx [they/them]
            hexbear
            17
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            Here, in this in this space, for me as an admin, political ideology takes a back seat to protecting trans folk and their spaces. That goal is why I wanted to federate with you even though lemmygrad got dropped. You, like us, are through and through protective of gender diverse folk. But somehow, that's not enough for you. We don't agree on politics and we never will, but we both do agree that queer and gender diverse rights are under threat around the world, and instead of finding solidarity in that, you're turning on your peers, whilst patting yourself on the back for being inclusive.

            I think this is what you don't get. You're in particularly taking offense at the "Death to NATO" phrase. NATO is a military alliance. It is a part of the greater International infrastructure that devastates many countries and makes the lives of people of color and LGBTQIA unsustainable in these intentionally maldeveloped countries. I am myself, not trans, but my family was forced to give up their family and community to immigrate to the west due to economic conditions created by the West. You like many in the current news cycle are propagating the idea of this walled garden at the expense of the livelihood of your potential allies in the International sphere. This is why you are receiving particularly strong push back. You are in particular attempting drive a hard line between Western Trans people and and everyone else and minimizing the idea of politics, as if this international politics does not have the power to ruin lives. I am not naive to think that we can agree on this politics but drawing the line on simply the phrase "Death to NATO" is pretty exaggerated. NATO exists for the purpose of violence.

            • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
              hexbear
              6
              edit-2
              10 months ago

              You’re in particularly taking offense at the “Death to NATO” phrase.

              No, I'm not, and if you'd read up on my posts, instead of assuming that, you'd see I've clarified things.

              I don't give the slightest fuck if you want to dismantle organisations, countries, companies or any other source of systemic disempowerment of people, particularly queer folk. In this context, on this instance, when I admin, politics take a back seat to protecting trans and gender diverse communities and spaces, so I am not going to defederate from a group of trans folk over political differences, and I was never going to do that. It was never on the cards.

              What I draw the line at is wishing death on people.

              And maybe you think there are some people that are so bad, that it's ok to wish death on them. I don't agree, but so what? It's a pretty fringe fucking point of difference to bring this onslaught of bullshit from your users on.

          • mar_k [he/him]
            hexbear
            12
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            Ok I didn't see that thread because I tend to look over some posts. I still think drawing attention to a post isn't fully the same when we're all one giant community of communities. I feel like you're being a little over reactive to some terminally online people being argumentative and annoying you a bit. Maybe it is sort of a brigade tho.

            you're turning on your peers, whilst patting yourself on the back for being inclusive

            Respectfully I feel like you're doing this right now, wanting to separate from other trans folks just because the vocality of their beliefs is annoying you and a few of the people in this thread were rude. Unfortunately stuff like this is gonna happen if someone makes a post specifically about us, but in no other cases have we gone around dominating blahaj posts. I also don't see how we're "disrupting a safe and inclusive space" by giving our takes.

            • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
              hexbear
              11
              edit-2
              10 months ago

              Ok I didn’t see that thread because I tend to look over some posts

              Cool, but I told you it was a brigade. I wasn't making it up. You made the choice to disbelieve me, and then to argue with me about it, despite lacking that information.

              Respectfully I feel like you’re doing this right now, wanting to separate from other trans folks just because the vocality of their beliefs is annoying you and a few of the people in this thread were rude.

              I don't want to defederate from you. How much fucking clearer can I make that? I've been putting up with hundreds of your users dunking on me here, even more of them on your home instance. I've had people posting pig shit emojis, and spamming this thread up so much that it's impossible to find content from the blahaj users that it was aimed at.

              Hell, the whole thing blew up because people misread my meaning. I don't give a shit if you want to pull down NATO or any other organisation that systemically disempowers folk. What I care about is that you aren't wishing death on people. Yet, you're all so hung up on NATO, that my clarification hasn't changed anything. Even if you disagree and think that some people deserve death, disagreeing with our stance of "don't wish death on anyone" seems like a pretty fucking strange issue to bring this onslaught of bullshit on.

              Yet despite all of that, you're still federated. This post is still unlocked. I'm still engaging with you.

              That is because I do not want to defederate from the strongest trans supportive lemmy instance out there aside from ourselves.

              Yet it seems inevitable that we will have to, because this shit isn't slowing down. Not a single one of you has tried to reign it in. None of you have called for us to have our space to talk about our own instances policies. None of your admins have stepped in and called out the post that breaches your own instances code of conduct (requiring you to be kind to your fellow leftists, remember the human and not insult, demean or harass anyone).

              Instead of finding solidarity, you are dogpiling bullshit (and pigshit) on to your peers, and you have become part of the problem. Unless something happens so you stop disrupting communities and discussions designed to protect and support trans folk, unless something happens and you pull your fucking heads in instead of dogpiling trans folk you disagree with, we will have to defederate from you anyway, despite not wanting to, because you have become a source of harm.

      • @robot
        hexbear
        2
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        Removed by mod