Like it's only so long until a user there posts a dumbass "Kick Tankies out of Lemmy" meme to try and start shit to get us defedded and hexbears take the bait immediately and pile on to tell them what a dumbass they are.
Like as dumb as the "death to NATO" being compared to "death to the people of NATO" stuff was, blahaj and hexbear are the largest queer instances and I quite like taking part in it and their trans communities, idk it's kinda nice to interact with people who don't have the same kind of hexbear brainrot where I see the words "pumpkin spice", "Maoist cult", "Soyfacing PMC radlib" or "rock stacking" and immediately start to go :sus: mentally, it feels refreshing to be able to talk to an incredibly queer positive community that doesn't have the same kind of internet poisoning as all of us. And it seems kind of assholy that some of the users here just don't give a shit and want to post and dunk until we get defedded by every instance, this isn't like lemmy.ca where they were all dicks that none of us liked anyway and were complaining about us doing hate speech against fucking landlords or lemm.ee where almost every time time a user from there pops their head into our threads here they say something racist or transphobic. iirc blahaj.zone was actually the second most requested instance to federate with in the pre federation discussions due to how good of a queer space it was.
Like their first defed thread was a complete embarrassment because there were a load of users there that actually had positive opinions towards us and then they saw the shitshow happening once from the post reaching active and changed to be way against us which tbh, fair enough.
Edit:
statements from the head mod Ada:
After that "people of NATO" bullshit, I don't see the administrative team (the admins and mods collectively) of blahaj operating in good faith. My comment about the bad faith that other instances engage in applies as much to blahaj as the other instances like lemmy.ca. If they truly believe in the vision and strategic goals of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, they can just say so without hiding behind some ridiculous excuse. I'm sure Stoltenberg and various other generals in command of a giant military are quaking in their boots about some obscure website wishing for their collective deaths.
Most of the users seem to be cool enough, but the administrative team is a major obstacle, and frankly, I do not like it and do not believe it is fair that we have to change our behavior while they don't have to do shit. How is this fair? We have a stickied "Amendments to the Code of Conduct regarding the Fediverse" issued by an admin, so what have they done in return? Apparently, our admins went out of their way to delete a post for their sake, so when are their admins going to delete the "fuck tankies" banner on their largest and most active comm? And this will not be the end of it, mark my words. They'll demand more and more, ever slowly chipping away at what makes Hexbear Hexbear. If they want to demonstrate that they're operating in good faith, they need to compromise as well.
But I'm already wasting my time. In the second of meta discussion on blahaj about Hexbear (which I will not link because that would be bRigAdInG), everyone is giving the same tired excuses (tankies, emote spam, Ukraine) about why they want to defed from us. It's going to happen one way or another. I just wish the admins here didn't have to humiliate themselves in the process.