I've heard of Trump and am sure Vivek is the one that did the foul murder to Indoril Nerevar, but since I'm not from America, can a burger brain give me gist of the other contestants?
-Biden (the current guy). His administration hasn’t seen any major changes other than the status quo of the decline of our living standards. Notably, there’s no policy page on his campaign site.
-Dean Philips (Suburban Minneapolis representative). Exact same policies as Biden. His whole gimmick is that he’s younger.
-Marianne Williamson (Self-help author). Only challenge from Biden’s left. Despite being the kind of person to say that the battle of Stalingrad was won through love, she’s somehow not the most woo-y candidate to run as a dem so far- we’ll get to the guy who fits that later.
For the GOP:
-Trump (The former guy). His whole campaign is themed around insisting that he was robbed of winning the last election by China/immigrants/Soros/whatever boogeyman a supporter of his has the most specific grudge against. Somehow not the most fascist of the candidates this time around. That would be…
-Ron DeSantis (Governor of Florida). Leads the kind of administration to give governmental protection to gay conversion efforts. Easily the candidate with the loosest mask of sanity, with a notably Batemanesque demeanor. Speaking of Patrick Bateman, the biggest campaign account for him made a video calling him a sigma male for being homophobic, and has retweeted a synthwave edit where his state guard marches in front of a Nazi sonnenrad. He also helped cover up torture at Guantanamo.
-Nikki Haley (Former South Carolina [My state] governor). My mildly abusive mom slept at her dorm when they were in college. Haley’s moderately pro-Trump, but is able to hold her tongue before being too praiseworthy of him. She might get the VP nomination.
-Vivek Ramaswamy (Medical grifting near-billionaire). Basically Trump’s surrogate for the debates, where Trump is blocked from due to not pledging to unconditionally support whatever nominee is chosen. Hammers hard about all the latest anti-woke buzzwords and the Second Cold War, and is possibly the biggest Christian theocrat of the lot, despite being Hindu.
-Chris Christie (Highly disgraced former governor of New Jersey). Last voice of the never-Trumpers. Was a popular moderate Republican straggler once, before he closed tolls on a bridge to an island town that voted against him and his approval in the state dropped to single digits. Spent two minutes explaining a joke where since Trump ducked the debates, he should be called Donald Duck.
-Tim Scott (South Carolina senator). The other biggest theocrat. Bragged about being a virgin into his thirties. Is the Black Friend of every other GOP senator.
-Doug Burgum (North Dakota governor). Bog-standard post-trump reactionary governor, but looks notably more dorky than the rest of the field.
-Asa Hutchinson (Former Arkansas governor). Bog-standard pre-trump reactionary governor. Potentially a former member of the Country Bear Jamboree.
For the independent candidates:
-Robert Kennedy Junior (Failnephew of the president who died under the most suspicious circumstances, and an antivax crank). Was running ahead of Williamson in the primary before running as an independent. Has no other policies than insisting that Wifi can kill people, but his last name alone has given him the support of 20% of voters.
-Cornel West (socdem/demsoc public speaker). Ram for a party only registered in Florida ram by a bunch of grifters, switched to the Green Party, and then ditched them and ran without a party. Somewhat tactless, has defended getting donations from a GOP megadonor trying to sabotage either Biden’s or his campaign. Also said in 2011 that he agreed with Reagan sending aid to “our Israeli Brothers and Sisters”. At least he looks and sounds the most badass out of the candidates.
Some of people like Ryan Binkley have basically near zero or effectively zero support so they hardly appear or don't appear at all in polls.
Democrats
Joseph R. Biden Jr.
Current president
82 years old on Inauguration Day
President Biden has cast himself as a protector of democracy and a stabilizing force after the upheaval of the Trump administration.
Marianne Williamson
Self-help author
72 years old on Inauguration Day
Marianne Williamson, a self-help author and former spiritual adviser to Oprah Winfrey, is running for a second time.
Cenk Uygur
Progressive talk show host
54 years old on Inauguration Day
Cenk Uygur, the creator of The Young Turks, a progressive talk show, says he doesn't have "giant policy disagreements with Biden": His top issues are a higher minimum wage, a public health insurance option and paid family leave, which Mr. Biden supports but has not gotten through Congress. But he says Mr. Biden cannot win the general election.
Dean Phillips
Representative from Minnesota
56 years old on Inauguration Day
Dean Phillips, a moderate Democrat elected to the House in 2018, has few major policy disagreements with President Biden and has supported his agenda in Congress, but argues that Mr. Biden’s age and low approval ratings mean the party should nominate someone else.
---
Republicans
Donald J. Trump
Former president and businessman
78 years old on Inauguration Day
Former President Donald J. Trump is running to retake the office he lost in 2020, then denied losing to the point of inciting a mob of his supporters to attack the United States Capitol.
Nikki Haley
Former governor and U.N. ambassador
53 years old on Inauguration Day
Nikki Haley, a former governor of South Carolina and United Nations ambassador under Mr. Trump, has presented herself as a member of “a new generation of leadership” and emphasized her life experience as a daughter of Indian immigrants.
Vivek Ramaswamy
Entrepreneur and author
39 years old on Inauguration Day
Vivek Ramaswamy, a multimillionaire entrepreneur and author, describes himself as “anti-woke” and has made a name for himself in right-wing circles by opposing corporate efforts to advance political, social and environmental causes.
Asa Hutchinson
Former governor of Arkansas
74 years old on Inauguration Day
Asa Hutchinson, a two-term governor of Arkansas who left that job in January, is one of a relatively small number of Republicans who have been openly critical of former President Donald J. Trump.
Ryan Binkley
Businessman and pastor
57 years old on Inauguration Day
Ryan Binkley is the president of a mergers and acquisitions firm and the pastor of a Texas church. He has never held or run for elected office before.
Tim Scott
Senator from South Carolina
59 years old on Inauguration Day
Tim Scott is the first Black Republican senator from the South in more than a century and has been one of his party’s most prominent voices on matters of race.
Ron DeSantis
Governor of Florida
46 years old on Inauguration Day
Ron DeSantis has built a national reputation as a combative conservative eager to do battle with liberals.
Chris Christie
Former governor of New Jersey
62 years old on Inauguration Day
As governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie drew accolades for his management of his state’s recovery from Hurricane Sandy, and condemnation for a scandal surrounding the closing of lanes onto the George Washington Bridge.
Doug Burgum
Governor of North Dakota
68 years old on Inauguration Day
Doug Burgum is in his second term as governor of North Dakota, where he has signed large tax cuts and a near-total ban on abortion.
---
Independent
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Anti-vaccine activist
71 years old on Inauguration Day
Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a nephew of former President John F. Kennedy, is a prominent anti-vaccine activist. He initially ran for the Democratic nomination before announcing in October that he would run as an independent instead.
Cornel West
Professor and progressive activist
72 years old on Inauguration Day
Cornel West has taught at Yale, Princeton and Harvard and is currently a professor of philosophy at Union Theological Seminary. He is known for his progressive activism, including his sharp criticism of former President Barack Obama.
Rant - I had to fix the copy and paste. Sites need to make their shit ready to copy and paste with no bother. It's super-annoying when they don't. Also - shit needs to be alphabetized.
I've heard of Trump and am sure Vivek is the one that did the foul murder to Indoril Nerevar, but since I'm not from America, can a burger brain give me gist of the other contestants?
For the Dems:
-Biden (the current guy). His administration hasn’t seen any major changes other than the status quo of the decline of our living standards. Notably, there’s no policy page on his campaign site.
-Dean Philips (Suburban Minneapolis representative). Exact same policies as Biden. His whole gimmick is that he’s younger.
-Marianne Williamson (Self-help author). Only challenge from Biden’s left. Despite being the kind of person to say that the battle of Stalingrad was won through love, she’s somehow not the most woo-y candidate to run as a dem so far- we’ll get to the guy who fits that later.
For the GOP:
-Trump (The former guy). His whole campaign is themed around insisting that he was robbed of winning the last election by China/immigrants/Soros/whatever boogeyman a supporter of his has the most specific grudge against. Somehow not the most fascist of the candidates this time around. That would be…
-Ron DeSantis (Governor of Florida). Leads the kind of administration to give governmental protection to gay conversion efforts. Easily the candidate with the loosest mask of sanity, with a notably Batemanesque demeanor. Speaking of Patrick Bateman, the biggest campaign account for him made a video calling him a sigma male for being homophobic, and has retweeted a synthwave edit where his state guard marches in front of a Nazi sonnenrad. He also helped cover up torture at Guantanamo.
-Nikki Haley (Former South Carolina [My state] governor). My mildly abusive mom slept at her dorm when they were in college. Haley’s moderately pro-Trump, but is able to hold her tongue before being too praiseworthy of him. She might get the VP nomination.
-Vivek Ramaswamy (Medical grifting near-billionaire). Basically Trump’s surrogate for the debates, where Trump is blocked from due to not pledging to unconditionally support whatever nominee is chosen. Hammers hard about all the latest anti-woke buzzwords and the Second Cold War, and is possibly the biggest Christian theocrat of the lot, despite being Hindu.
-Chris Christie (Highly disgraced former governor of New Jersey). Last voice of the never-Trumpers. Was a popular moderate Republican straggler once, before he closed tolls on a bridge to an island town that voted against him and his approval in the state dropped to single digits. Spent two minutes explaining a joke where since Trump ducked the debates, he should be called Donald Duck.
-Tim Scott (South Carolina senator). The other biggest theocrat. Bragged about being a virgin into his thirties. Is the Black Friend of every other GOP senator.
-Doug Burgum (North Dakota governor). Bog-standard post-trump reactionary governor, but looks notably more dorky than the rest of the field.
-Asa Hutchinson (Former Arkansas governor). Bog-standard pre-trump reactionary governor. Potentially a former member of the Country Bear Jamboree.
For the independent candidates:
-Robert Kennedy Junior (Failnephew of the president who died under the most suspicious circumstances, and an antivax crank). Was running ahead of Williamson in the primary before running as an independent. Has no other policies than insisting that Wifi can kill people, but his last name alone has given him the support of 20% of voters.
-Cornel West (socdem/demsoc public speaker). Ram for a party only registered in Florida ram by a bunch of grifters, switched to the Green Party, and then ditched them and ran without a party. Somewhat tactless, has defended getting donations from a GOP megadonor trying to sabotage either Biden’s or his campaign. Also said in 2011 that he agreed with Reagan sending aid to “our Israeli Brothers and Sisters”. At least he looks and sounds the most badass out of the candidates.
Some of people like Ryan Binkley have basically near zero or effectively zero support so they hardly appear or don't appear at all in polls.
Rant - I had to fix the copy and paste. Sites need to make their shit ready to copy and paste with no bother. It's super-annoying when they don't. Also - shit needs to be alphabetized.
come nerevar friend or insurrectionist come
burger brain here, not really. IDK who they are either.