Anyone feeling like this once in a while?
I'm filled with such thoughts at least once a day if they are not repressed by distractors, and it's taking somewhat of a toll on my mental health. The distractors that is. They take me away not just from remembering but also from other tasks I should be doing, essentially freezing me or slowing me down to a snails pace.
Missing those feelings long gone by with my memories constantly tormenting me about a time that wasn't even that good, but a time I've felt loved. I'm used to them, but I don't know how long I can go with that. It's hard to work alone and it's painful to reminisce.
There's an argument that we are nostalgic in no small part because our past contains our youth. If nothing else, you have less history to look back on when you're young and far more to look forward to simply because that's the nature of being a child. But also, a growing body has a lust for things that an aged body does not.
And time tends to soften the edges of a given moment. I can remember high school summers playing tennis with my teenage friends, having my first romance, and feeling the freedom of being a young adult without having to worry about my next shift at the deli counter or the angst of an on-again-off-again relationship or the burden of taking care of my aging mother and my kid sister. The stresses I felt at the age of 17 aren't present decades later. Meanwhile, the stress of my current age is all-too-present.
Also, I just don't watch as many ads as I used to. I can't help get the sense that this fed my desire for fast food. Eating french fries relieved a longer I was cultivating from accumulated ad exposure. Now that I'm not constantly watching McDs promos, I don't feel the urge to eat that crap.
Wish that were me, I avoid ads like the plague (and I'm glad that I do for other reasons to be clear), but I still eat like trash (not McDs but other similar garbage). I work from home and generally like to cook, but I basically never do it. Prolly once a week. Pretty sure I have a binge eating disorder but I hate psychologists too much to do anything professional-wise about it. I've been thinking about [insert fast food chain here] all morning even though it's kinda terrible and I just had it yesterday.