Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home. Happy Hanukkah. In the time-honoured tradition of our cult, here is our weekly discussion thread.
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This is either a bit, or you're suffering from mental illness. Please talk to other queer people in real life before making up wild proclamations about the essential moral character of sexuality, but don't do that before talking to a therapist and working out your personal issues. Your self-hatred isn't politics.
dude fuck off you have zero grounds to call me mentally ill, that is actually disgusting
the idea that your sexual attraction to women makes you inherently misogynistic isn't a position that you picked up from any actually existing communist party or Marxist writer. I don't believe it's an idea you picked up from any living human outside your own head. On the vanishingly small chance that this isn't a bit, I sincerely urge you to work through your self-hatred before pursuing any real life relationship with someone of any gender that you're either not genuinely attracted to, or that you feel ashamed of your attraction to.
Marxism informs us that women are sexually exploited under patriarchal society. The dominant forms of male heterosexuality is latently misogynistic. Im sure that there are people who are sexually attracted to woman who arent misogynistic, but in my case I genuinely believe that my sexual attraction to woman contains latent misogyny, and that must be fixed. Its impossible to eradicate it for good, but its current existence is enough to unsettle me. Just like how it is a common phenomenon within humans to think about jumping off when next to a cliff, there are people for whom that thought rarely pops up and doesnt affect them, and people like me for whom that thought frequently pops up and makes me scared of heights.
Confronting your own internalized misogyny would be commendable if that's what you were doing. Blaming your internalized misogyny on an involuntary biological sexual response is not. Claiming that you can change your own sexual attraction but are somehow powerless over your own negative thoughts and actions toward women suggests a reactionary worldview that just straight up doesn't exist outside of religious bigotry. You did not arrive at this conclusion from reading Marx. Nobody else in history reached that conclusion from reading Marx, and you aren't somehow the first to divine it. You could only have arrived at this conclusion through adopting it in the only place it actually exists in the world (religious fundamentalism) and substituting terms in a way that you found aesthetically palatable.
You've claimed in this thread that you believe you can choose to force yourself to be sexually attracted to men against your own will as a political act of defiance against internalized feelings of misogyny. Find me a single actually existing communist party or political grouping of queer people outside of fringe religious cases that take this position.
This claim does nothing to address the root of your misogyny (your own beliefs and actions toward women) and instead adopts the extremely homophobic idea that queer people have been fighting against for longer than you've been alive: that they're simply choosing to be queer, and that they could just as easily choose not to be if they wanted to badly enough.
If this is just a bizarre expression of you discovering a genuine attraction to men and struggling with reconciling your bisexuality with your sense of self then I wish you the best in working through it. If you think you can just adopt a marginalized identity without authentically feeling that way to avoid having to do the work of decoupling your misogyny from your attraction to women, then I again urge you to please talk to a mental health professional in real life about this. It doesn't do you or any potential partners any favors to be carrying around this sense of shame and resentment or to fake an attraction that you don't feel. Both are extremely shitty things to put on another person.
There is no way you think Im saying that lmao
You might genuinely be illiterate.
What does that even mean? And yes there are plenty of house queers who choose to be house queers instead of fighting for liberation, and society have accepted their assimilation.
I am completely fine in that regard thankfully, which is why I am even worrying about sexuality in the first place because I notice the dissonance that my sexuality causes in my mind
Frankly, you are the one who exposed yourself as being a pathetic biological essentialist philistine who thinks sex has anything to do with biology. No wonder you are spewing vitriol at me
and surely there is a way, I dont believe the sexuality is not a choice shit, if I wasnt a communist theres no way I would have sex with a man. So there is surely some other way to get rid of heterosexuality?
I think it is just as impossible to "get rid of heterosexuality" as it is to get rid of non-heterosexuality.
not entirely, but there must be a way to defeat it severely
kinda sounds like you're advocating for conversion therapy...
conversion therapy is literally the polar opposite of what I am advocating for
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So I read your first comment above and then I read this and I got a bit lost. Is your problem that you have heterosexual tendencies and that you think that's wrong? Are you bisexual because you're communist?
I think they might be assuming that all masculinity is toxic masculinity, or their tastes aren't as "vanilla" as they claimed in their original statement and they're projecting their own personal demons onto everyone else.
I mean, if I was not a communist I would not have been able to deconstruct my latent homophobia, and as a result not have been attracted by men, but there is no direct connection there
You don't believe that sexuality isn't a choice, meaning you believe that it is a choice? It's definitely not. And there's no reason a communist can't be heterosexual; that just means that you haven't been -- or at least aren't aware of ever having been -- attracted to someone of your gender (yet; you can't be sure that it'll never happen or that it hasn't happened without your knowledge)
the idea that sexuality is not a choice is a liberal copout that refuses to confront the very real sexual exploitation that our entire society is based on. in that case, are the millions of men whose sexuality literally involves violence towards women and queer people justified? There is clearly culpability. how could anyone be liberated if sexuality is thought of as something outside of the individual's control.
Sexuality is not sex. People that are violent towards others in a sexual way do so without consent. You can be hetero and violent, gay and violent, pan and violent, etc. You having violent sexual fantasies is not linked with your sexuality, which is something that you cannot choose. Yes, our patriarchic society is in many ways sexually exploitative towards women and other minorities, but that does not mean being heterosexual is a bad thing. Also, there is no marxist view that says you cannot be heterosexual. That would be an extremely weird ideology.
Im not saying you cannot be heterosexual. I also dont have any violent sexual fantasies. Marxism also tells us higher education is heavily bourgeois and serves to maintain capitalism and exploit workers. Does that make education bad inherently? Of course not, but if you are going to university and dont actively fight bourgeois ideology you will quickly become a servant of the bourgeoisis. The same logic applies to sex.
Please talk to a professional about whatever issues you are experiencing with your sexuality. It seems like you got quite a few things mixed up here and I don't think Lemmygrad is the right place for you to work those things out.
I dont have anything mixed up lmao