I feel exactly like this sometimes. Like I'm pretty much nonbinary in a lot of ways, but not really by choice. I'd rather be a very average and unremarkable woman.

I mean maybe it's helpful to o focus more on how you're so different than men now? When I'm around male friends I look 5-10 years younger than then and a lot cuter, even if I'm not really looking like a woman.

I also hope that this will get better over time. A person's sex hormones never stop changing them. So you're basically putting your body on a different development timeline than men. You age differently, and the longer you take them the wider the gap is. So like eventually I'll hopefully be so different than any man and enough like a woman that it will be easier for me to see it.