So I landed a really nice job with a really cool company and they plan on hiring me this March, but before they can do that I need to pass a drug test. My manager personally doesn't care whether or not I smoke weed but I live in a state where weed is illegal, and the company does care and would bar me from hiring if I were to fail a drug test.
I was stupid and smoked a fuck ton of weed last Sunday (before I knew that A; I need to take a drug test in the first place, and B; that weed can remain present in urine for up to (and possibly over) 30 days in frequent smokers (which I am)). This would originally have been fine if it weren't for the fact that after agreeing to the background check, I would be scheduled for a drug test by the 13th (within 4 days). So my original plan to just drink a shit ton of water to flush myself out within a month wouldn't work.
I also had a plan to sneak in a jar of my sober friend's pee but then I learned that you're actually required to pee in front of the observer so that plan wouldn't work either.
So basically I'm fucked and I don't know what to do :( My future pretty much depends on this job and I don't know what I would do if I were to fuck this opportunity up. What do I do?
Also, idk how relevant this is but I'm 5'9" (~175 cm), 160 lbs (~72.6 kg), AMAB, and very infrequently exercise. I also have POTS so I sweat frequently and have poor water retention.
Sweating a lot is your saving grace. If this is a monitored test, ignore everybody's suggestion of fake piss. They're looking right at your genitals, if your entire life depends on it it's not worth getting caught.
Exercise a shit ton before this. Sweat out as much as you can. Then, drink as much water as you can before the test. Take vitamin b12 and creatine to hide how diluted your pee is.
Never thought about creatine. Put that weed right into my muscles.
Now I kinda wonder if taking creatine can make thc be more of a body high? Interesting stuff.
No idea, I recommended creatine because any lab worth their salt will test your pee for creatine to check for dilution. Taking extra creatine makes your watered down piss more piss like, b12 makes it yellow.
If you want a heavier body high, just take CBN.