So, I have a problem that I won't be able to solve until the end of 2025. If everything goes well, it will be like nothing ever happened. If everything goes wrong, I might have to pay money I cant really pay right now. (No idea how much exactly but more than I can afford probably) This is obviously a stress factor at times. I "could" try to solve it right now, but I can't really afford to solve this if it doesn't work out and have to rely on my parents' money, which sucks and is bad. In a way, it's probably not the end of the world; I heavily doubt I will go to prison, at least, but it sucks to have something that feels like a set-in-stone bad end. Feels like knowing the day of your death. Also, my dad has cancer, and that also is a bit of a stress factor, to be honest.

I'm schizophrenic, and usually just browsing the internet/games/anime is enough to keep my stress and thoughts at bay. Today, though, I couldn't think about anything else while doing other things, and it is really messing with me.

Do you have any tips for dealing with (I think you call them intrusive thoughts)? Other than drugs. I only do alcohol and I dont want to become an alcoholic.

Actually typing all of this out was nice if nothing else.