I think I'd apply for the position of guy who's super interested in something that's only interesting cause it's gsmeplay relevant. I'd stand by a river staring at it day and night and when the protagonist talks to me I'd say "I'd bet I could use a boat to cross this river."
The main antagonist that everyone secretly likes more than the main characters.
What? Villains aren't playable so it's technically an NPC
What's your inexplicable monstrous final form that you can apparently become whenever you want but just didn't before?
Big fat owl
Will you give exposition and have inverted yes/no responses?
Hoohoo! You've already come a long way @GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net! It seems you must got to Castle town, but be careful!
Did you get all that?
Yes
->No
Did you get all that?
Peepee
-> Poopoo
Better than the main antagonist is being the secret boss who's even stronger than the final boss