active networking is the 10th circle of hell,never in my life have I felt so actively disgusted with myself in a social context. how do you do this without the urge to 
or how do you tamp down that urge because oh my god I cannot stomach it, it feels so fucking slimy to do. i can't even do it at events where the sole purpose is networking, my dad pressed me into one and I bailed 15 minutes in after hovering around, it feels so utterly degrading and gross
R E A L
I don't have any good advice. I just remember older mentors saying "oh just keep trying" and feeling so frustrated. Like, I'm now on the other side and I don't have much to offer besides I've been there and felt that way. It sucks, and it might feel like it'll never happen for you, Just keep trying.